LOST AND FOUND

Part 1

Who loves an owl…Ullu to be precise? I do.

Mom, it seems I’ve lost one of my earrings...

Don’t get upset. It can happen….which one was it?

The one with the owl….sob sob

My mother knew how important this simple pair of earrings with an owl dangling was for me. My parents had got it for me 6 years back and whenever there was anything important like an exam or celebration, I preferred the Owls to anything...a sentimental fool was I…not sure if it was superstition.

Kichhu hoy na Babu…look for it in the room…it may be stuck to your hair or the t-shirt that you were wearing tonight ….search for it, consoled my mom. In the background I could hear my dad asking, what was the name of the place I had been to with my friends for dinner that night….Kebab Gali. He quickly Googled and gave me the telephone number….call the restaurant and tell them where you were sitting and to try and look for it. I immediately called Kebab Corner. I kept my fingers crossed that they would find it around the table…but if it had fallen on the road it would be lost forever!

As I kept talking to Ma, my tears just wouldn’t stop flowing…how could I lose it? It was like losing a friend on friendship day!!! My friend in Bombay had already mailed me various Owl earrings available online…but none of them could replace that silver pair…it just wouldn’t be the same. After a while I took off the lone piece from one ear and thought I would just keep it safely as a treasure for good times together. And as I opened the safe box I found the other piece in there…staring at me, without blinking….saying, So you left me here alone and wore just one earring to the party? Ullu kahin ki!!  

Woohoo! I have my Ullus…yeah.

Ma, just found it in my box.

I told you baby, you never lose anything. Since school all you’ve ever lost is a water bottle and nothing more….I knew it would be somewhere around. Good, now call up the restaurant and tell them to call off the search.

Madam, for the last half an hour, two of my boys have not been serving any customer and looking for your earning…surely my tone had made it very clear that I had lost my precious and wanted to find it desperately. Chaliye Madam mil gaya ab…ok good night.

The Ullus are back in my life and I stay awake till 1-2 am …that’s normal for me….seems I’ve found the biggest Ullu in me.

Part 2

How could you lose it?

Ma’am, the other unit guy gave it to me…he found it lying around in the OT. I kept it safely but put it next to the OT table when they sent me from one task to another and when I came back it wasn’t there…I asked a few people, they said you had taken it.

Do you know how expensive it was…forty thousand….you are a careless fool.

The news spread like wildfire…M had lost a senior’s direct ophthalmoscope.

I looked like a petty criminal in the unit with everyone saying…how..where…when…how how how??

In the OPD that day, everything was a blur.I was working blindly, both lost in thoughts, trying to remember what happened that day in the OT, as well as through the tears I was trying to hold back. How could I do this? Was I really so irresponsible?  Every ten minutes or so, I kept calling my batch-mates in the OT and OPD and other seniors trying to find out if they knew anything about it.

This went on for nearly three hours and then I called Ma in Mumbai.

Somebody must have taken it…ask your friends to look for it.

We’ve searched for it everywhere but it can’t be found.

It is ok…don’t cry baby. If you’ve lost it, you only should give it back. Buy her a new one, use your credit card. Give it and get back to work. Such things happen at work.

Obediently I went to the senior and said, I’m really sorry ma’am. I will buy you a new one, let me make good the loss.

Relax…I have got it back. Your batch-mate just told me that he had taken it from the OT and kept it with him….he forgot to give it back to me or tell me that it was with him, she said.

No one found out who took it out from her bag in the first place. Since morning there was so much commotion in the unit about this incident and whoever had done it knew about it very well. No one will ever know what truly happened but I became branded as a careless Ullu.

The senior found what she had lost… what about me? I too lost something that day….my honour…how long before I earn it back…

Part 3

It’s been two months away from home. Home, where I was a Princess. My Diary would read…early morning waking up without any alarm ringing with dad brining a nice glass of water and tenderly waking me up…post that was mom keeping hot breakfast on the table…a different lay every day…the routine went on till I went to sleep and mom would even come down to check the speed of the fan just in case it got too cold.  They over did it, certainly, but I enjoyed. I had to only take care of my college sessions. For the rest of the work and worry, I had two specialized khidmatgaars of the colonial times in dad and mom who even ensured my Vodafone top up was done on or before time. All the time, these two doting people would search on their own what work I had to do and what more could be done to make my life comfortable.

And then the clock struck twelve…and the party was over for Cinderella as I landed in Delhi.

Now I wake up 15 minutes before the alarm goes off…the body clock is now so set. Open the door for the maid, then go on to make my frugal breakfast on some days, take some sandwiches on OT days, pay the guard, the maid and all the other bills. After 15-18 hours of work, if the shops are open, I pick up bread, call for water, ask the laundry person to come and collect the clothes, wash some on my own, keep a check on my wallet. At times I feel terribly lonely, even though I may be surrounded by 5-10 people with whom I work every day…but I need somebody with whom I can talk freely and open my heart to. Mobiles and internet can cover the distance…but only to a certain extent.  It feels so weird to see my home from the other end of Skype.  I seem to have lost everything… my peace, my confidants and myself.

Today, however, looking back, I realize I can now do things on my own…I’m no longer dependent on anyone for anything. Wow...I’m a woman who is struggling, yet everyday discovering new things about herself. I never knew I would be able to do all these things without my dad and mom. I know how to pull out cash from the ATM, how to get work done by an electrician, keep a note of the expenses. Today I do not need to tell anyone where I am going and what time I will be back. Every day is a struggle, every moment is a fight but I know I can do it…alone.

Two days ago, I performed my first cataract surgery…gave sight to someone… but sighted a new me.

I know my loving guardian angels must be wanting to take some of my burden if they can…don’t worry Mom, don’t worry Dad…I have learnt so much from you over the years that your daughter can and will do it…alone. Your blessings, I know will always be with me so just pray I do not skip a step anywhere on this treacherous road I tread and that I have the fair judgment to take decisions and do things right as I live this new life of mine.

Life is a never ending story of getting lost and found, of ups and downs, highs and lows…reminds me of one of Ronan Keating’s songs…Life is a roller-coaster, just got to ride it!!!

MS