Saturday, 19 March 2016

AS I STAND AND WAIT

Recently Kolkata was rocked with protests over a dastardly act on a young doctor working late at night at a government hospital. What the mother of the unfortunate girl would have experienced on that fateful night was the same that I went through every night when my little one was in Delhi....staying awake, praying for her safety as she meandered through the tough life of long working hours while braving the cold, scary wintery nights. Nothing seems to have changed in these eight years when this piece was written. 

I demand Justice. I demand Safety.

As I Stand and Wait

As I wait for the phone to ring
As I wait for the SMS alert
As I wait for the WhatsApp beep
As I wait for the doorbell to ring
Just a “Hi”
Perhaps a “Hello”
Or maybe “I am fine”
Or even a “Reached”
Aches increase
The loneliness stings
All the dreads come back.

Night falls
Television sets are switched off
Peace regains
A few more pages to finish
Before I turn in for the night
Do students read ‘Doctor Zhivago’ anymore?
I wonder
Careless thoughts
Fears multiply
The nightmares return.

It’s 2 a.m.
And she is still at work
Has she eaten?
She must be tired
Let me go to sleep
Will someone help me sleep?
It’s 3 in the morning
Will the wait end?

It’s a new day
With tea and newspaper
Same old news
Same old stories
Same old cartoons
Same old routine
Another day of waiting
Endless
Relentless.

The Facebook throws up
Friends in thousands
Same old faces in new profiles
A few updates
Hypocrisy abounds
Heartaches and heartthrobs
Hearts bleed too
For Rohiths and Kanhaiyas
The bashing continues
For Modi and Trump.

For two weeks
Read the columns
Heard the discourses
A new God is in sight
A beacon of hope
Harbinger of Azaadi
They say he has found a new definition
The intolerant talk of tolerance
The tolerant turn to intolerance
So let us wait for the deliverance.

Age shows its ugly side
Have to live with it
The body weakens
Memory fails
Trapped inside a Beautiful Mind
They have to await
Their turn
And so must we.

A walk on concrete
As buildings collide
Roller skates whizzing by
The breeze stops
Waiting
Wondering
To blow or not to blow
Beads of sweat appear
For company I find
Endless shapes
Broken bodies
Twisted legs
Unsteady steps
Foggy minds
Words without voices
Greetings exchanged
I walk on.

The baby
Has left his pram
Walks now and
Prattles on
As the dog rises to greet him
Hope returns
As I walk back home.


DS

11 comments:

  1. At some point of time in life we feel like enacting the absurd ordeal of Sysiphus ! Let there be hope - your piece concludes brilliantly "The baby Has left .... Hope returns As I walk back home."

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  2. Debi, a beautiful piece ! As the nest empties our loneliness actually becomes an ache . Some of us occupy our time and mind when elders are to be cared but once they go too , the pain , the loss and ache returns. Hope definitely returns !!!

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  3. It is traumatic to learn of how unsafe our young medicos are. After having toiled for long years incidents like the Kolkata rape abounds. I keep thinking of Aruna Shanbagesque incidents and hope that these men are caught and castrated so that they will live life long with the scar for their deeds. Even today, there is a news item about Kolkata doctors being roughed up due to a patients death. Soon ,we will have youngsters wanting to be film/TV stars, Cricketers or politicians largely perhaps.

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  4. To every one with a daughter or daughter in law who are employed or even go out to shop it’s a panic nowadays. Let’s hope senses prevail.
    Me too demand justice! Demand Safety

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  5. I echo your concern and identify with your anxiety. The dastardly act was despicable for sure but what astounded me was the way government machinery acted to protect the unholy. I want justice too.But who shall serve it to me ? Not the people I have elected to represent me, for sure. But I shall get the justice the that I want. Someday.

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  6. As I read and reread each line, a new meaning showings fourth. I am still living it. Peeking at location share which never seen to get updated, heart racing when there's a call at an'odd' hour, saying nano second prayers before hearing a 'normal' help, advised sometimes of being voyeuristic in wanting to know they are okay... Especially those holidays and late nights... When everyone seems to be having a good time but my mind is reaching... Who else but a mom can stitch memories out of our complex lives! Beautifully scripted comes from the heart

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  7. Nicely penned ,the anxiety, fear n hope.

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  8. About to get into the phase as you were few years back.. so this blog is infact reverberating in ears . Cyber crime is making things more vulnerable now

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  9. Fear, anger but it is still a reality

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