Helpless

These are strange times...of chaos, uncertainty and maybe even despair. Most of us would have felt a number of emotions, including helplessness. This is something that I had written in the initial period of lockdown. While we were still working in the hospital everyday, things were definitely not the same, and they still are not. Contrary to all that may be said, we all know, that it will be some time before things become 'normal' and they will definitely never be the same again...for better or for worse.

She was cured, 

Following up regularly,

Never missed an appointment,

Never failed to smile pleasantly.

A scar was what remained of her battle,

Lost an eye to it as well,

I can only pray that it does not recur,

As I push back the thoughts, try not to dwell.

He was responding,

Last cycle of chemo, laser the rest,

He has no car, train, plane, a village with no drugs,

Wait…just wait and hope for the best.

She cannot fly, she would go every month to treat,

Seemed just next door till yesterday,

Now all locked, all barred, no way to reach her kids,

She unpacks, folds her apron, counts each day.

He finished his five years,

The fresh lot, the young guns,

Ready to enjoy before residency began,

Order issued, stay back, duty beckons.

Her home is in the same city,

Her baby with her in-law,

But she must not go, holds herself back,

And puts on the surgical mask to hide her clenched jaw.

She waits for a call, or just a message,

As she switches from one news channel to another,

With flashing dates, figures, rates and predictions,

Under house arrest, but without her daughter.

He must wait in the city, food will come,

They said it would be over soon,

He did not walk with the rest who left four days ago,

Listened to the urges, prayed it would not be his doom.

He stopped another car, checked the ID,

Nodded, essential services, go on,

Happy to not raise his lathi again,

Sorry to see a brethren, another pawn.

She lights a lamp, he kneels and bends his head,

In their houses, within four walls,

Do not be angry, we still have faith in you,

But where are you, as the world falls?

It is going to be a long night, a long winter,

Or call it whatever you fear,

Helpless, you watch the drama unfold,

A deafening silence is all you get to hear.

Maybe it will be a war to end all wars,

Maybe in a world full of prejudices and divisive religion,

Of racial superiority and unprincipled politics,

Maybe fellowship will be restored in the cavalier population.

And while our hands are bound,

Hope signals and thoughts form an unscheduled train,

Maybe, something will come out of all these maybes,

And all the helplessness will not be in vain.

MS