TELL ME WHY

While the world is at war against Corona, against China, against racism and much more, I am at war with God. Often ask Him…tell me why? And as usual he smiles and throws some more problems to overcome, every time more complex than the previous. That’s His way of keeping us moving, changing, fighting and possibly surviving and for some thriving. This week two pieces of news shook me up and made me ask Him the same question again.

He was just forty two, hale and hearty. Whenever I met him or spoke to him, he seemed to always have a genuine smile on his face that I could see and feel his warmth. He treated all with respect and love and everyone had a good word to speak about him. Yet, one night, he went to sleep, never to awake. While condolences and messages of shock on WhatsApp were floating around, I happened to see a note written by his niece that I share with you. My friend, Ubaid, was not only taking care of his own family, which we all do, but the families of his younger brother, who is no more, and his elder sister.

“Ever since I came into this world there was always another man behind me besides my parents. I was brought up with all the necessities that a child needs and studied in one of the better private schools and as time passed with his useful advice and, at times, paternal yelling, I passed 10^th standard and he was the one who rejoiced the most when my results came out. By the time I reached 12^th, he told me of his wish to see my name on the school board of merit. When the day the results were to be declared, he got up early and stood by me and typed my enrolment number. When the results popped up and it said I had not only done well but had scored a centum in commerce,  he was flying in air for I had fulfilled his wish. He hugged me tight, kissed me on my forehead and was over the clouds as he shared his joy with his friends. In between work, he would find time to accompany me to colleges for my admission. He even bought me a scooty to travel to college. After I completed my graduation, he helped me get a job in a company where he had worked earlier, where everyone knew me as Ubaid’s niece and I benefitted from the goodwill he had left behind. He then started looking for an alliance for me and chose the person as well.  He finalized everything and spent all his money on the ceremony which no one does in this world…settled me down well in in my new world. I am very lucky to have got so much and I tried to make you proud by living a good life with my in-laws. And all this happened because of you, Mr. Ubaidulla, my Godfather and my Bestest Uncle who treated me as his own child. I am not able to accept that you are no more….that you are gone forever… there are no words to express how much I am missing you…so much burden you took while alive, may Allah grant you the best place in Jannat…love you forever.”

I asked Him, “ Tell me why Ubaid?” and got a deafening silence as an answer.

Band of Brothers with Brother D'Souza

On the WhatsApp there is one group that is a close second to MyHome. This is called the Band of Brothers. We are a close knit family of friends who were there in 10-C of St. Columba’s School, Delhi in 1980. The reasons for the thick bonding are twofold. Most of us joined the school in kindergarten and remained in the same section for over a decade. The second reason was Brother D’Souza who flew in like an angel as the class teacher in 10-C. While there was always a small group of bright ones in the section, the vast majority of us were mediocre and below the median. We had suffered some very bad teachers and, needless to say, we, too, were more interested in everything other than academics. And in such a situation, a brilliant teacher and guide walked in and we had found our messiah. Even to this date most of us believe, if there was one man who changed our lives for good, it was Brother D’Souza. The way he taught, the way he got involved with us in extra-curricular activities and devoted so much more time, beyond school hours, for some of us weaker ones was absolutely magical. We are indebted to him forever and there can be no words other than praise and respect of the highest order reserved for him. 

The other day someone told us that Brother D’Souza was now living in Chandigarh and had not been keeping well. He is down, possibly, with Alzheimer’s and he has to always wear a name and address tag. When one of the boys went to meet him, the guard in the home where he stays told him, “Sir walk ke liye jaate hain, pata nahin kab vapas aayengein.” It seems he goes for long walks everyday and often people in the city help him return home. He is also not keen on meeting visitors. Someone also shared a short video of Brother D’Souza, taken some time back, where he was wishing Happy New Year and you could make out the immense effort it was taking him to speak those few words. This for a man who could speak for hours together on almost every subject under the sun is unbelievable. Each one of us felt sad seeing the decline in the man who for us was not just a teacher at school but a mentor and guide in life and our love for him would rank next only to our parents for he changed our lives for good, forever.

And I asked Him again, “Tell me why Brother D’Souza?” and as usual he kept silent.

And then I got a beautiful forward this week from David Ogilvy who was born in 1911. He is the last word on advertising and at the ripe age of 109, he wrote a piece which seemed like the only bright spot in a gloomy world. While by the day end I realized that original Mr. Ogilvy had expired in 1999, someone had created the note and given credit to the advertising guru for reasons best known him. Since I had forwarded the piece to a few people, I had to send out a note in apology for having fallen prey to the fabricated news that WhatsApp University manufactures daily and makes them go viral.  One such person, to whom I had apologized, however said, “Never mind if David is dead or alive, this is indeed a very positive piece and yes, we all have a little David inside us to fight the Goliaths.” So let me share some of the things this impersonating David wrote as the Goliath of a pandemic keeps spreading and is now knocking at our doors.

Do you know the best things about mums? They are eternal optimists. It’s as if they have an invisible coating of Teflon. And no amount of pessimism can make a dent in it. It has taught me to be optimistic and pragmatic too. Look only at each day and do the best on that day. Because today is what you have in front of you.

Diseases always have been the bane of our existence. Nobody is 100% prepared for it. We all do our best to cope with it. This too shall pass.

You see, in all the centuries that have gone by, one thing has remained constant, unchanged and untouched by human progress. Our emotions. You still love, laugh, cry, hope, believe just like the millions who walked the earth before you did.

Take things one day at a time. Be generous in your empathy. Everyone needs an extra helping these days. Tighten your belts, be thrifty, learn to enjoy the things that are free in this world- a sunrise, a sunset, fresh air…be safe and don’t be a prisoner of fear. WFH also means Work, Cook, Clean and Wash From Home. So be helpful around the house.

All this will pass. Believe me, I have seen worse times. And I have endured. You will, too, I know. Because there is a little bit of David in everyone…

And, finally, I told Him,” Please don’t tell me why for I will find my own answers, I will find my way out of this fight. Help is welcome but I am David and ready. I will look at each day and do my best. I will still love, laugh, cry, hope, believe and be optimistic about tomorrow. So you can give me more. I am David.”

SS