Ek Doctor ki Maut

Trrring…. Trrring.

Oh God…it is 3.00am and the intercom is ringing at this unearthly hour.

Hello, security, who’s there now and bloody well don’t you tell me it is a false ring or I shall kill you tonight.

Nahin sahib, some delivery person has come. The slip in his hand shows your name and address.

Ok, then you let him come up. I never ordered anything. Maybe my mother would have sent something again.

Ting… Tong

As our man opens the door, he sees before him a man in a perfect black track suit and matching sneakers. He had a tab in his hand and on his shoulder was a bag….a huge bag.

What’s for delivery?

This is not for delivery Sir. This is a reverse delivery call or, simply put, a return call.

But I have not bought anything online and have nothing to return.

No Sir, I am here to take you back.

Back to the hospital from where I just returned after thirty six non-stop hours doing surgeries? Na…I am not going anywhere.

Sir, if you don’t mind, I would like to come inside and explain to you in detail.

Ok, come in.

The delivery man walked in and went towards what looked like a sofa set but seemed covered with journals and hardly any place to sit, but he somehow managed to shift some dusty papers and sat down. The table in front was full of free samples…all dusty and in original packing. He opened up the tab, pressed some keys and spoke reading from the screen.

Is your name Dr. Ashutosh Mane and your date of birth 29^th February 1988?

Yes, that’s correct.

Now look here straight on the screen and it will do a facial recognition.

The matching was perfect.

So here you are, tonight is the date of your expiry and I have come to take you back.

Whaaat! How can that be possible? Why should I believe you and this silly tab of yours?

Sir, let me explain. We used to earlier keep manual tab of everything up there and it worked reasonably fine with some problems here and there and no one complained except someone called Savitri who was able to save her husband from taking his last journey. About nine years ago we decided to automate the whole set of records and a guy called Steve, who did odd jobs  on earth like growing apples, helped us create this wonderful application called YamyApp. Hope you know who Yam is? This never makes a mistake and some of us, the pick-up people, are sent the schedules and details of pick-up and then we do the rest.

The doctor felt the earth slipping from underneath his feet and he almost collapsed on the chair next to him. How can this be true?

Why me? I am just a thirty-two year old pediatric cardiac surgeon who has just started working in Safdarjung Hospital after twelve long years of studies. Why me? I have so much to see, so much more to do.

Unfortunately, I do not have any discretion about changing dates. I would suggest you go back to your bed and sleep and leave the rest to me. I shall make it as less painful as can be.

Wait! You cannot do this to me. I need some time for sure. Give me three extra days please.

Why three days?

Tomorrow I have three surgeries lined up. If I fail to turn up, the kids will not survive. I am sure you can check your YamyApp for the names of three kids whether they are in your list for tomorrow. Here are their names…….

The doctor gave the details of the kids by checking his hospital’s official SafHapp on the mobile.

Hmmm…no, these names are not there for tomorrow’s pick-up. Are you sure if you do not go, there will not be another doctor to do these surgeries tomorrow?

I am very sure because the other surgeon is down with Covid-19 and is in quarantine and will return in a couple of days. Each of these kids is in a critical state and any delay will be fatal. Tomorrow’s surgeries just cannot wait.

Ok then. I can give you one day and shall return tomorrow night. Do not give me any excuses then. I am a busy man and my incentives are based on the number of pick-ups I can do in a month. It is just like any salesman’s work…pick-up and drop, pick-up and drop…the more the merrier.

Sir, I will need two more days.

Anyway why do you think I will give you another two days? Don’t tell me you have some more surgeries lined up in the next two days as well. You told me a minute ago that the other surgeon will be back. So, then there will be no more extra time on earth for you. One day is all I can allow and no more.

You have to ask your Big Boss for two extra days for me and I will tell you why.

It is not for me to ask why, all I do is to pick up those who die….No, please do not put me in a fix. My Boss is a very strict disciplinarian and expects us not to get emotional. That can be fatal for our work, just like a doctor who should never fall in love with his patient…..I still remember the movie Munna Bhai MBBS where the Dean of Medical College and Hospital tells the new medical students that his hands always stay stable and never waver. There can be no emotional attachment to patients…same is with our job. Our tag line is-Swoop Pick and Go.

Sir, I completed my schooling in 2008. Since then I spent five and a half years studying MBBS, followed by one year of rural posting to serve my bond. Then I did my specialization in surgery for next three years and after that another three years in super specialization. When all my school mates were enjoying themselves in colleges and started earning big salaries, I was working non-stop for days together in a government hospital without any holidays. When my friends were having rave parties and hanging around with girls having fun, photographs of which they would later post on FB, I was collecting blood samples or changing catheters or doing night shifts in the Emergency. There have been nights when I never got a wink’s sleep and at times when the body could hold no more, I would just collapse and fall into a bed from which a patient had just been shifted out. In all these twelve years, I have not had a holiday, never experienced life. I need the next two days from you.

Oh, so now you want me to organize a party for you like Sanju Baba and a pretty chick in red skimpy clothes singing for you…Dekh ley…aankhon mein aakhen daal…dekh le…You are asking for too much Doctor.

Please do not make light of my pain. I need two more days of living. On the first day, I will fly for a one day-night trip to Paris. All my life I have wanted to see the city of Louvre, Moulin Rouge and Eiffel Tower. My passport is unstamped till date and you will have to help me not only get the visa stamped overnight but also get me the business class tickets. You have earned enough incentives and surely you can ask the maker of the YamyApp for some stock options and you will never be short on funds. Oh, how I long for that walk down the river front and see myself face to face with Mona Lisa.

On the second and last day, I want to go back to my parent’s house in Nagpur where I shall call all my friends from school and college for a night bash. There will be great food and unlimited drinks. I will even get the best of grass and smoke it and feel high….I have never done it so far…I am sure it must truly feel out of this world before bowing out of this world. My friends will all come and surely it will be a great night for all of us and by the time all my friends leave the party, you can come around 3.00am and I will happily jump into your backpack without complaining. Just Swoop Pick and Go!

Just then the doctor played a song on his mobile he had got a night before as a forward…

Saari umar hum, mar maar ke ji liye,

Ek pal toh ab humein jeene do, jeene do.

Give me some sunshine, give me some rain

Give me another chance, I wanna grow up once again.

The delivery man got up and walked towards Dr. Mane who stood up. The man from outer space hugged the doctor and said, “All my life I have never missed a pick-up but today I will take on the wrath of my Boss. You definitely need to live. You are needed here.”

The delivery man opened his YamyApp one last time and against Dr. Ashutosh Mane put a remark, Item Expired 1^st July 2008…..the day he joined MBBS course.

SS

(Picture source: The Guardian)