Big Gondogol in Old Kolkata

Mr. Ghosh returned from Kolkata on a Saturday afternoon. By evening, he was feeling uneasy and post a light dinner, he spoke to his GP Dr. Dave.

“Daktar saheb, mera pet mein bahut gondogol ho raha hai.” (Doctor, there is some major trouble in my stomach).

The doctor on the other end knew his patient well and his Bhindi (Bengali-Hindi) language even better. He asked Ghosh babu to come to the clinic next morning.

Mr. Ghosh was more than punctual, and along with his wife, reached the clinic even before the staff there had opened the clinic door. The doctor came dot on time and immediately took the patient and his wife to the examination room. He made Mr. Ghosh lie down on the examination table while he started to probe with his stethoscope. Whichever part of the patient’s belly he touched, the man often cried out…

“Oooh…aaah… udi baba… bahut darad hai Daktar saheb.” (It is very painful Doctor)

“Hmmm… Seems something serious. I would like to examine you with an ultrasound machine once before I diagnose and prescribe the next course of action.”

Mrs. Ghosh was very worried. “Sir, I remember the ultrasound machine being used almost regularly during my pregnancy. Why do it for him now?”

“I want to see the inside of his belly to make sure there is nothing serious.”

The lady just nodded her head and agreed to the course proposed by Dr. Dave who pulled the ultrasound machine closer to the bed, applied some gel on Mr. Ghosh’s belly and started moving the probe while looking intensely at the screen.

“Mr. Ghosh, it appears that your stomach and intestines show heavy signs of battering in the last few days. You seem to have gone overboard on gorging such diverse items in such quick succession that I can see the week’s full course ‘mahabhoj’ clearly. Let me recreate the timeline and the menu card while you can confirm if my deductions are correct. I shall skip the details of the few light meals and fruity breakfasts.”

Mrs. Ghosh was quite amazed, “How much technology has advanced. The machine for maternity can also detect gastronomy!”

“You had a huge chunk of steak with veggies and bread roll. This one looks really nice and special.”

“Yes Saar, that was at Mocambo’s on Park Street. I had the steak while my missus had Chicken Pavlograd. This is a dish similar to Chicken a la Kiev but has, in addition to molten butter, cheese and vegetable fillings inside the ball like serving.”

“Hmmm… interesting, indeed.”

“Saar, even more interesting was the Don Giovani’s shop outside Mocambo’s. We expected it to be serving nice Italian pizzas, pastas and macaroni but they had so many specialties displayed outside on the front window that would make any Italian exclaim, mamma mia!”

Dr. Dave smiled and said, “Mogambo khush hua.”

“Mocambo and not Mogambo Saar. This restaurant was opened in 1956 by Shivji Kothari who recruited an Italian chef to give the customers the original Continental taste and the interior décor, done by a German architect, has remained unchanged since then. It was the country’s earliest nightclubs with live bands playing, something that was discontinued since 1970s.”

The doctor probed further, and with eyes widened to their limits, exclaimed, “Special gosht biryani with mutton bhuna is the next speciality inside you Mr. Ghosh!”

“You must try these delicacies at Arsalan, Park Circus. That’s the original place. With the smiling little Md. Irfan opening the door to welcome you and the aroma of the biryani cooked just right for you with the egg and the potato tucked inside every plate, the food here transports you back to the times of Wajid Ali Shah and his famous khansamas who arrived at Calcutta from Lucknow, bringing with them the best of Awadhi cuisines.”

“Mr. Ghosh, there is one lunch which simply stands out. This was quite a combination of Bengali traditional food along with a slightly westernised ending.”

“I know Saar what you are referring to. This was the day we went to College Street. We were feeling hungry and someone knowledgeable recommended us to eat the traditional food at Putiram’s. This is a sweet shop that is over a century old and possibly has not changed in all these years. It is a small shop with some sweets kept in glass showcases in the front and a few ancient wooden table-chairs kept in the back-end where customers can sit and eat. We ate a plate of dal kachori with chholar dal and alu sabzi, topped it with four varieties of their special sweets that ranged from rajbhog, jalbhora, amriti and shorer nadu. It felt very full but then my ginni (wife) said that we have to go to the Indian Coffee House, a place associated with the city’s adda culture since 1942. We went there for a nice cup of hot coffee but could not resist the fluffy butter toast with a sprinkling of sugar on top. Having studied in the college opposite to the place, for her this was sheer nostalgia as was the visit to the Dasgupta Book Store on College Street that started way back in 1886.”

“Mr. Ghosh, after the heavy bombardment at College Street, there seems to be one section of slightly less heavy continental food.”

Picture courtesy: Internet

“Yes, that is our lunch at the famous Tolly Club. One of our friends had invited us there. This is a 220-year-old club, ranked amongst the world’s finest, which was started by Scottish banker William Dixon Chuickshank. It has an eighteen-hole golf course and serves some lovely continental delicacies. We chose the grilled fish and chicken cutlets and more than the food we enjoyed the company of friends amidst the serene nature where birds walk up to your table  freely and the greenery all around fills your soul, something we miss dearly in the cities.”

“Quite impressive Mr. Ghosh. But not as two power packed meals of Bengali maach-bhaat!”

“Yes, Saar. They were the two Mama Barir Adorer Khabar which is difficult to translate but in simple words it means that the maternal uncles pamper their nieces and nephews the most and feed you with love when you go to their homes. The first one was my daughter’s mama bari where mamaji took us to a special place for a huge spread of fish and begun bhaja (aubergine fries), moonger dal with jhuri bhaja (crispy potato fries cut fine), ilish machher tel jhol, chutney and butterscotch ice-cream topped with gulab jamun. As if this was not enough, when we visited my maternal aunt’s place, she made sure we had four different types of fish which included a crispy bhetki fry from Machhali Baba (the latest rage among the Calcuttans), lotya maach (bombay duck), hilsa and rohu and a special delicacy of mocha bhaate (mashed banana flower).”

“Amazing that you ate all of this and so much more. I can additionally see traces of many varieties of sweets, momos, pizzas and dhaba food inside. It is quite surprising that your belly did not explode and you have escaped with just a pain. Now tell me, the week you spent at Kolkata, was it just spent in eating or did you do anything else?”

One afternoon I was humming the song from 1942 A Love Story which goes… Kuchh na kaho, kuchh bhi na kaho. Mrs. Ghosh thought that I was telling her to stay quiet. She got very angry and dragged me to the Word Museum at the National Library to make me realise the importance of written and spoken words. The Museum of Words, also called Shabd Sangrahalay, is spread over nine galleries. A remarkably curated museum with so much to see and learn. There are touch screens to play around with, sound platforms where you get to listen to audio from above, 3D musical visuals and history of the written word over the ages from all across the country. With a huge number of exhibits, this is a must-go-to place. Having seen it all, I have since erased the troublesome swan song of RD from my playlist forever.”

“Ghosh babu, I am going to prescribe you some medicines,” said Dr. Dave as he got down to writing on his letterhead. Mr. and Mrs. Ghosh were worried that the intense and long check-up and ultrasonography would cost them a bomb. Dr. Dave, with a naughty smile, pushed forward the letterhead and attached another short paper with a pin. On it was written…

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Ghosh.

I wish to go with you to Kolkata for a week and taste the food there. I am told that there is much more to the street food and fine dining in the city than you will find anywhere. Attaching a blank cheque for you to buy the tickets for the trip and the hotel stay.

SS