Hope & Joy in Times of Corona

In times of gloom and WFH (Work From Home), some more tales to bring cheer to office folks as the lockdown continues. While the first one is an imaginary conversation with You Know Who; the second based on reality and doing the real work at home and the final one is on the essence of life.

3^rd April 2020

The Big Day of 31^st March was over and had hardly had a wink of sleep when he, you know who, started his Q&A.

So how was your April One?

Tere ko kya? How does it matter to you whether I win or lose.

Don’t take offence, I just asked as a matter of courtesy. From the way you reacted, I can make out it wasn’t great. No bhangra for you, surely.

Ab psychologist bhi ban gaya hai yeh, I thought…often our facial expressions give away our real state of mind. Bravely, I put a smile on my face and said, theek tha. All the businesses I run are small so I will explain to you in brief. But the words…in brief … took me into another world of briefs and I soon realized the only way to save planet earth was to reach out to men in briefs….the Super Heroes. I convinced Corona to accompany me to some of the Super Heroes who had saved the world many times in the comic books. I was sure one of the 'Men in Briefs' will get rid of this deadly virus and rescue us.

Super Heroes

I packed some food and water and put it in my back pack. Mr. Corona jumped and sat on my left shoulder and looked happy going for an outing after many days, unaware that he would meet his end this day. From my list of super heroes, I had knocked off Captain America as he was already on a ventilator in his own land. When my wife went off to sleep, the two of us slipped out and went first to the dense Aarey Forest. It did not take us too long to find the Bat Mansion where Batman lived. I pressed the doorbell and a voice from inside asked…who’s there and what brings you here at this unearthly hour.

It is me, your biggest fan. I want you to take care of this creature on my shoulder.

What creature? Can you look into the camera so that I can see who you want me to fight tonight…I have not had a good fight for long so I am very much looking forward to one.

I pointed my left shoulder towards the CCTV camera so that Batman could see Corona, with a smug face.

In a hushed tone, my super hero replied, I can’t fight him. He is a creation of bats infecting some meat, which was then being eaten by humans. How can I fight my own kind? Sorry, you need to go to Superman and he will be able to handle this bad bat guy. I can offer you my Bat Mobile otherwise you will not be able to reach his place.

A disappointed me boarded the Bat Mobile which was ultra-luxurious and sophisticated. All I did was to type Superman's Home on the huge touch screen and the automatic Tesla BM was on a self- drive mode and in no time we reached the house of Mr. Clark Kent. We got off the car and again pressed the doorbell. Being a fine gentleman, he came out and walked us inside his home. I could see the trademark lock of hair on his forehead hanging and knew who he was.

Ya, so what brings you here?

Sir, I want you to destroy this evil guy sitting on my shoulder. He has threatened the entire human race and we are on the verge of extinction and only Superman can help.

Superman took a good look at the smiling corona and nodded his head…this guy is made up of krypton and that is the only thing I am afraid of. And of course I am old now and do not get into fights. You should reach out to Phantom, the Ghost who Walks. There you will find the solution as there are witch doctors who seem to have a cure for everything. They are now using the cow droppings for many a cure there.

I boarded the Bat Mobile and reached out to Phantom at Denkali Jungle but it seems he had vanished having been forewarned by Superman and Batman about the enemy I was bringing to his gate. Since I was in Africa, I thought I would try asking Tarzan for help. When I entered his jungle, instead of being greeted with his typical war cry of ‘Kregaah Tarzan Bundolo’ there was silence all around. We went to his tree top home to find Jane nursing Tarzan as he lay on the leafy bed.

What happened? How did you get hurt?

My wife Jane is too cautious and when she heard of a virus spreading all over, she put extra hand sanitizer on the vines. As I was swinging from those vines, my hands slipped and I now have a  broken hip bone. I have to rest for the next six months.

I returned home, disappointed, with Mr. Corona having the last laugh. Was he the Betal piggy riding on me, Vikram? Later at night I thought and came to a logical conclusion about Super Heroes. When faced with danger, what happens to us mortals...we dirty our pants which I am sure happens to them as well. I think they avoid the embarrassment by first wearing super-sized diapers and then they wear their body hugging suits and finally wear their super-brief briefs on top. While the mystery of the briefs worn over the body suits was solved, from that day I decided not to get fooled by these so called Marvel Super Heroes. I realized that the real heroes and warriors for our planet earth are indeed the doctors and nurses in white, the cops in khakhi, the cleaning staff and other people fighting against all odds to stop this tidal pandemic.

The real Heroes

Last Line

The numbers in India are on the rise. There have been a few major indiscretions by some people that has aggravated the problem. The government and health authorities are trying their level best to contain and ebb the tide but the crisis facing them and the world is really big. Let us do our bit by maintaining discipline and ensuring we stay home, work from home and April One has proven that it is possible to work from home and do good business.

Stay Safe, Stay Happy.

6^th April 2020

Déjà vu. When it is WFH, you do get some time for fun and today I got the chance of watching a historic day in the annals of Indian sports.

It was almost ten years ago, in 2011, on the lush fields of Wankhede Stadium, India was playing Sri Lanka in the World Cup Cricket Final. The match started with Sri Lanka, after a shaky start, ending the day at a healthy score of 275 runs with Mahela Jayawardane scoring 103 runs off 88 balls. With 40,000 strong crowd in the stadium and another billion at home cheering for India, Sachin and Viru walked in and in no time, both were back in the pavilion…India were 31 for 2, thanks to Lasith Malinga’s devastating spell of speed bowling. Virat, the eighteen year old youngster, and Gautam Gambhir held on to the  game and had almost stabilized it when the young lad got out. Instead of the regular 3 down batsman, Yand the man in form Yuvraj, the Indian Captain with locks of hair hanging down his shoulders walked in to take charge with many a people skeptical of the move. Gambhir played extremely well but he too departed and then with Yuvraj in company, M.S. Dhoni inched closer to the target. Finally that magical moment of the huge six MSD scored to take India to its second World Cup victory after a gap of 28 years!

The celebrations were wild but the best comment I enjoyed seeing over and over again was from the youngster,Virat Kohli, who carried Sachin on his shoulder in an emotional lap of honour saying,“Sachin Tendulkar has carried Indian cricket on his shoulders for 21 years. So it was fitting that we carried him on our shoulders after the win.”

After watching the highlights of this super match, I went you to my wife and declared,” Darling, you have carried this household for 31 years on your shoulders. So it is fitting that I carry you on my shoulders for a day.”

Have you had a drink one too many? You are not used to it. Sathiya gaye ho kya? You get back to your senses before the next Zoom call or you will soon not have shoulders to carry your iPad, leave alone me.

No, no…what I meant is that you have been taking care of the home for so many years alone, so why don’t you let me do the house work just for a day. I did the cleaning of the utensils the other day…please give me some more work to give you some time to relax today. Moreover, now after the work in the kitchen, I have no ego left, any work will do.

Ok, if you so insist, please clean the toilets today…and she switched on the television to check on the latest global counts and intermittently checking the Whatsapp messages from her daughter.

What did I do to deserve this? Anyway what I had called upon myself is what the Japanese call Harakiri and in Hindi.…aa bael mujhe maar.

Off I went, as a man of honour, true to his words, into the place where not too many men had gone before. Of course, I was in great company as the Mahatma would himself clean toilets, not only his own but the community toilets as well. He even forced Kasturba to do it even though she was not willing to do such menial and obnoxious work. Maybe it was Ba’s revenge on Pa today!

And so I went and learnt the art of spraying Harpic all over,letting it remain for half an hour, then taking the brush with plastic bristles to rub it hard all over the surface and reach to inner crannies. And then of course a proper bath to remove all stains till the pot looked like a gilt throne, fit for a monarch to rest his royal behind. I even made sure I had scrubbed and dried the floor of the bathroom before leaving the Diwan-e Khaas, lest the lady came in for inspection and slipped! Then, of corse, I would literally have to carry her on my shoulders!

Lessons from Loo:

1.   Ensure you clean it up every time before leaving the place.

2.   Do not leave the muck for someone else to do it.

3.   Any other person cleaning has the same dignity and self-respect as you.

4.   There is no shame in doing your own work.

I came out and felt as elated as the Captain of the Indian Cricket Team in 2011, for we almost looked alike today with my long hanging uncut hair and the unshaven face. If he had scored the winning runs with a helicopter shot, so had I completed the cleaning of the floor with a long handled mop, twisting and turning it like the revolving blades of a chopper...swishhh!

She congratulated me and announced that her fresh cream validity date had expired but, in such hard times, she did not wish to throw it away, so she would be baking a cake with it. She went on meticulously with her baking and the lovely smell from the oven told me, the cake was ready. The Empress of my House reminded me of French Queen Marie Antionette, who at the peak of the French Revolution, when people had nothing to eat, had declared, “let them have cake!”

I freshened up and went back to the Zoom call with a glow on my face…for now I feared nothing. I could do anything my boss asked of me no matter how small and menial it may appear to others…truly Impossible is Nothing…I am Possible.

Last Line:

We have a long road ahead. Keep your spirits high and never lose hope and faith. Think of those front line soldiers in white battling the problem at such close proximity on a daily basis, getting infected themselves for they have not enough protective equipment. And yet, they never stop going out to face the new lot of patients. Think of the men and women in khakhi on the roads…never a minute to spend at home and yet out on duty 24X7X365 for a pittance. We are much better off, we are much safer than most and all what is asked of us is to maintain discipline and hygiene in order to prevent any spread. Just Do It…Swoosh!

Stay Happy, Stay Healthy, Stay Safe.

 10th April 2020

It was Good Friday. Heard the Easter Mass would be screened into homes all across the globe from the pulpits in Vatican to Sao Paulo, from Bandra to Tokyo. I have always been confused whether to celebrate Good Friday or feel sad. How is it that we celebrate the crucifixion of The Lord and it is Good ? And same was the feeling of confusion when two pieces of news come through in a flood of Whatsapp messages, videos and office mails.

In a town in Uttarakhand, a man died of another serious ailment and not Covid with his old mother by his side. The wife, who was working in Mumbai, sat down in her hostel room, to weep alone as did their daughter who was studying in a college in Karnataka. No trains, no planes, no buses and no cars to take them to their home far away…to their husband and father who was on his last journey where there was no lockdown to stop him. His memories kept unfolding before their tearful eyes as they said their silent prayers in their closed rooms. Om Shanti!

And then there was this newspaper picture that caught my attention. A pair of twins had been born in a hospital in Thailand designated to take care of patients suffering the pandemic. While someone in India, too, had twins some days ago, the mother had named them Corona and Covid (poor kids) but to the mother in Bangkok I would suggest names of Joy and Hope.

Surely in situations of life and death, WFH will not work.

SS