Love in Times of Corona

This is a continuation of the Corona Dialogues or the morning mails sent every morning sharp at 9 am to the team members to bring a smile on to their faces in an otherwise gloomy circumstances. These are fictional conversations with Corona and incidents at home as we are busy with WFH...Work From Home!

29^th March 2020

Good Morning Everybody.

Isn’t it nice to be alive, kicking and waking up to the sound of the birds? Yes, it is.

“Fish market kab khatam hoga? It is already 8.30pm and anyway nothing much seems to be happening on the business front.”

Yes, she equates my work to selling fish and she has good reasons for it for the amount of non-stop clatter that happens with high decibel shouting, haggling and banging of the head just to sell something all want cheap yet fresh. And not to forget...

Machali  jal ki rani hai,

Jeevan uska paani hai!

Marine ka matlab bhi paani hai,

So machali and marine ek hi hai!!

So I quickly wrapped up my work which in a word is shutting the laptop down. Then I went to her to make her happy, I said, “Please may I be of some help to you in the kitchen?”

She looked up at me in surprise and said what I did not want hear, “ Yes but it will not be cooking for I too will have to eat it and I know your culinary skills well enough. You can of course do the cleaning up in the kitchen after dinner.”

“Ok darling”, I said trying to put up a brave face.

And so after dinner I got ready to walk into the kitchen which was the lady’s sanctum santorum or garbhgriha of a temple. There she was waiting at the entrance and told me, “Now that you are entering the kitchen, you must be ready to do anything and for that you must leave your ego behind.”

I looked at my neck and did not find my office ID card and asked her genuinely, “You mean ERGO, my office work behind?”

“No, I said….your ego! EGO is nothing but End of God, for either of the two can survive in you.”

After getting the saintly advice I walked inside towards the sink where plates, spoons, kadhai and tawa lay. As I looked at them, it seemed the dirt on the vessels appeared smiling back at me, mockingly of course, and saying, “He can’t do it guys. We will live longer tonight and party once the lights are out.”

And then I got to work. It took me pretty long time and, by the time I came out, not only was I drenched in sweat but learnt one good lesson which I will share with you.

There are not one but many types of scrubbers. The Scotch Brite type is for regular plates and steel vessels. The wire mesh type is for aluminum and iron utensils like tawa and kadhai. Then there is the plastic one which you use it on non-stick variety of cook-ware. If you mix it up you might end up with the non-stick pan scratched up so badly that next morning’s dosa will never reach your breakfast table.

Similarly, there are different types of soaps and you use different ones at different places. For normal stuff you use the Vim Bar and for oily vessels you need to soak it with few drops of Vim gel and use the liquid dish wash for the Corelle plates. Finally, there is also a hand wash with which you just wash your hands after the work is done. The mops to clean up are also all different. There is one for the gas stove, there is another for the marble top and there is also one for the dining table. And then, of course, there is one to dry up wet utensils and if you make the mortal mistake of cleaning your dirty wet hands with it, the heavens may fall on your head in no time.

In short, one size does not fit all and then I wrote a mail.

Dear Bill Gates on Earth and Steve Jobs in Heaven,

Please can you think of something simpler…one thing that does it all just like our laptop. You open it and you can do your mails, do video calls, excel sheets, power points and do almost everything on a piece no more than 12 inches by 8 inches in size.

And promptly the reply came.

Dear Mr. Sen, now living between Heaven and Earth,

Your mail is important to us but unfortunately there is a virus in our systems as of now. We shall get back as soon as the systems are up and running. Till then enjoy the music. Just a piece of advice from the two of us, there is no substitute or replacement for a wife and her elaborate kitchen, for everything else you have an Apple or a Microsoft.

And I dived back into the aquarium and my world of fishes.

Last Line

Have a happy weekend. Keep your wit and humour alive. Do not just pass on scary messages but share some good jokes. Spend that moment with your family over a couple of cups of tea and coffee. Play with your kids and take care of the old ones at home. Look around you and see if you can provide some help or food to the guard in your complex or the housekeeping staff. Keep yourself healthy and maintain the discipline the government wants of you. Safety of self and all should be our driving mission.

30^th March 2020

Good Morning Everyone.

Hey Buddy, you look different today. You’re looking smart. Are you leaving for work?

It is still work from home for me and all my people. So I am going nowhere but would be very happy if you were to leave for good.

It must be a special day for you have shaved and have already taken a bath early morning. And your dress seems a style statement with a nice formal shirt with cuff links but I think you have still not worn the pants as yet. The boxer down there is looking funny.

Arrey Baba, with April One a couple of days away, I will be having many zoom video calls when the people on the other side can only see the upper torso. It does not matter what is there below.

Oh! That’s smart of you. Quite similar to a phrase I heard somewhere…upar sherwani, neechey pareshani….there you see having stayed on this planet I am learning the lingo well for I plan to stay long here. By the way what is this April One and why is it so important to you? And please don’t say that it’s complicated.

Hmmm…so the Indian financial year starts on April One and many large businesses conclude their annual insurance contracts before this day. Quotes are issued, negotiations done…

Thamba…Stop! Can you please make it simple as you did to marine insurance?

So let me call it the Great Indian Dance Festival where everyone is dancing. The first part is the Pre-war Dance when both the parties, the customer and the insurer, work round the clock to prepare all the background work of meeting each other, getting information over cups of tea, coffee and more. Each trying to woo the other to get the best deal and they look like dancing the Tango. This style is characterized by a very close embrace, small steps and syncopated rhythmic footwork.

The second phase is the more difficult stage of negotiations. This we call the Indian Snake Dance where everyone believes the snake, the insurance company, is the more dangerous of the two. The customer, the snake charmer with a been, plays the music. Both are trying to look for an opportunity to strike the other and gyrate to the tune. At the end the story is the same. The charmer always wins for the snake’s venom is already removed and so is the fang. The charmer takes away all the money and puts the snake in a basket and walks away.

The final dance happens post April One when all open up bottles of spirits and heave a sigh of relief and dance freely as if they have won the war. The customer dances for he has made a great deal and saved tons of money and will surely get this promotion in the next appraisal. The insurer dances for he foolishly believes he has landed a wonderful contract where he will make tons of money at the end of the year. We call this the Bhangra Dance for here people dance in no one particular style. Yes of course the best shakes and moves are reserved when the Punjabi songs play…Lamborghini Chalaye Jaane Ho…

Have fun Buddy, but please send me all the messages that you got yesterday about me on Whatsapp…it will surely keep me engaged and not bother you as you prepare for the dance festival. I love this App.

Last Line

We are all fighting hard at every front and not letting the virus spread. Each one of us is playing their part. Keep on at it for we have to win. It is not a question of who is affected; it is now a question of who will survive. Something that Hitler failed, this one disease has done…invaded the USA and brought it down to its knees after having conquered China and Europe. We, in India, are the last bastion which, if it falls, would mean complete annihilation of the human race. So it is imperative for us to stand strong, support each other and the country, maintain discipline and keep the dark one not only at an arm’s length but find a way to defeat it. Stay Safe, Stay Happy and Stay Blessed.

31^st March 2020

Good Morning Team,

Today is an important day for all of us. So stay calm for all you could have done is done, now you must hold your breath as the results pour out…some may be in your favour, some may not but the important thing is that each one of us needs to ask…..did I do enough…and the answer every time will be …no…maybe a little more could have made the difference. It is alright to feel this way for as humans…yeh dil maange more. Just be honest to yourself and no one else and keep trying, never give up.

I must have made the faintest of coughing sound and she came running from the kitchen and asked, You have a sore throat?

No, not at all.

But I heard you cough. Don’t hide, it always starts this way.

I vehemently protested,…kichhu na…just some food particle must have got stuck in my throat.

No, no..she said..it can’t be for you’ve not eaten anything now. She put her hand on my forehead to check if I had fever…

I told you I am fine. You are too much…one cough and you open a dispensary at home!

Nothing doing! You should start on gargling immediately.

She is so pushy and no logic is logical to her. And so she brought the mug full of warm water mixed with salt and put it between me and my open laptop as I tried hard to find a reason to agree to a business with a one off large claim spoiling the loss ratio.

I was angry but for greater peace at home, gargled and returned back to my work station after banging the mug in the sink making my anger apparent to her for having forced me into doing something I didn’t want and spoiling my mood.

Why she does it always, I asked myself?

As the clock stuck 13.30 hrs, she came to the room again signally that the food was ready.

Aash chi…let this VC get over… maybe in another ten minutes.

Man proposes, boss disposes…the VC went on and on…she came in a couple of times but saw me sitting like a good boy nodding my head while some others kept talking on the other side. After a while I requested her to eat as it was getting late but she said no.... and waited till it was almost 15.00 hrs and we ate our lunch together.

My fine Darjeeling tea was served with two Nice biscuits right at 17.00 hrs as I continued my struggle which went on and on. She never misses anything and is never late about anything.

At around 20.00 hrs, I decided to call it a day and poured some wine in two glasses and gave one to her. I was always a ‘tea-totaller’ which means only tea for me till recently when I tasted some wine. And then we also had some wine left over after the recent marriage of our daughter and the two of us decided that we should drink it ourselves before Corona strikes any one of us…Drink & Die! Say cheers to life!!

As I started to sip the wine, she played a soothing Rabindra Sangeet on You Tube that sounded lovely. The translation of the first stanza of the song ‘Tumi Sandhyaro Megho Mala’ reads:

Oh Traveller of my empty sky,

You are the convoy of the evening clouds,

You are the answer to my desire,

Oh, my voyager of the deep space,

I have fashioned you with the sweetness I have,

You are mine, oh, you are mine…

Can anything be more romantic than this…and as I looked at my partner of thirty years…I felt a rhythmic beat in my heart…is this an illusion, I wondered or is this wine getting the better of me…No, No…this is love.

Forget the romance in the office, this is truly, love in times of corona.

Last Line

Today I wish you all Victory, Victory, Victory…victory in your work, victory over the pandemic and victory over yourself…take this as a new beginning to a new life. The world will never be the same after these days pass. Stay strong, stay fit and healthy and stay blessed always and happy. Happiness is the best medicine for all ailments...take it in big doses.

All the best Team and no matter how the results go, we will live to fight this April another day.

Cheers to Life.

SS