The Diary

Riiinnngg…riiinnngg…

Hello Priya…you reached safely…

Yes, Baba. It was a long but comfortable flight. The weather here at Chicago suddenly feels very cold especially after being in Nagpur for a fortnight. We are in the car now. How are you doing?

Arrey, I just returned from the fish market and have got some good bombil fish and fresh coriander. I will ask your mother to fry the fish and make some vadi. We will eat it while doing our daily binge watching. It will be the Sunday-Funday for us today.

Baba…

What? You want to speak to Aayi… oh she must have gone for her bath. When I came back from the market, I rang the bell a couple of times but she did not open. Fortunately, I was carrying the spare keys with me and entered the house. I still have the shopping bag in my hands. She is taking long today; otherwise she is in and out in no time. I will ask her to give you a call as soon as she is ready.

The line on the other end went quiet and then there was the faintest of noise…

Priya… why are you crying beta… what happened? You are my brave girl. How much longer could you have stayed. After all, you have your family there in Chicago. Don’t worry baby…. Come on, cheer up.

Baba…are you right now in the living room.

Yes…why?

Please go to the TV room after keeping your bag in the kitchen. I am holding the line here…

The old man took out the fish and vegetables from the bag and put them on the kitchen table top and then walked to the room inside with his phone in his right hand, holding it close to his right ear.

Yes, baby, I am there now…why are you crying darling… I just do not understand why you are making me walk around the house.

Now sit down on the couch facing the wall with the television set and tell me what do you see…

The man saw the black screen of the television and just next to it he saw a large picture frame with a sandalwood garland. He kept staring at the picture of a smiling woman as his eyes moistened.

I am sorry Baba… it’s just been less than two weeks and I can understand how you feel….said the sobbing voice on the other side.

The old man kept staring at the picture, with the phone still glued to his ear, without uttering a single word. Then after a while, spoke…

Don’t worry, baby. I will be fine. It takes time to realise that she is no more. After all we were together for over forty years and you think, work and plan your days as your partner for life. A short lapse of memory, you may call it.

Baba.. just think it over what I said before leaving India… please come and live with us. We will be all so happy to have you with us especially your grand-daughter who keeps asking for more and more bed-time stories that you told her every night we were there last time.

With all friends, relatives and you around till yesterday, the house was full and there was something always going on. My mind was always working on what to do to ensure the ceremonies went off properly, plus with my darlings around, I never felt alone. Today, possibly, is the first day when there is no one at home and my mind wandered away and I forgot the reality and the sad truth.

Come over Baba, please.

No, Priya. Your mother and I built this house together. It was never easy for us and there are great memories associated with it. The name plate with our names Dr. Sumitra and Dr. Arvind Deshpande will always tell me that she is around for me…. every brick in this house is engrained with the history of our struggles, our pains, our victories and our joys. With a clinic full of patients and all the friends in the neighbourhood, I will never be alone here. These people have always been my extended family. Your mother was far too independent a person to seek help from anyone, be it even family and, over the years, that spirit has rubbed off on to me. As long as my hands and feet are mobile and my mind is active, I wish to be here. A new world, new people and new way of living at this age will not suit me. I know you will be worried about me, especially after today’s incident, but I promise to make a long video call every day and keep you informed at all times. And, of course, not hide anything from you even though I know that you will always worry about me, something you have inherited from you mother.

I know Baba. Please keep someone for cooking.

Hey baby, I am a good cook myself and you know it. Your Aayi never allowed anyone inside the kitchen, for it was hers and hers alone…sanctum sanctorum. She would cook for everyone and make fresh food everyday without ever complaining. No matter how much work she had at the clinic and how late she would return but she would make the daily food. I was allowed only on Sunday mornings to make breakfast for her and she loved my dishes with eggs and anda-Maggi was her favourite. But then in the last few years, when she went over to your place in Chicago, she gave me the easy cooking recipes over phone and I would experiment the same. Initially the dishes did not turn out good, but with every passing day, I kept improving and then from simple khichadi I graduated to cooking prawn curry and keema-mattar. I used to keep some portions of my specially cooked dishes for her to taste on the day she returned home and her smile would give me the Michelin Star…mast bana hai. This time when she returned two months ago. she said… now I can say with confidence that you will survive after I vanish…. Yes, darling I will survive.

But Baba, how will you cook all those other things now with no one to give you directions?

Don’t worry, Darling. Your mother was always very meticulous and knew what a bhullakkad your dad is. She knew that I had to be repeatedly told of the way each dish had to be cooked each time I cooked it. So, she started writing these recipes in a diary… her Blue Diary which I have with me. The beauty about her recipes is that she made them idiot proof…they are so easy and simple that I can follow them and the end results are usually very good. Sometimes the salt tastes more and sometimes it appears to be missing, but other than that, I know that I can manage and I can survive. Moreover, cooking for myself every day, will keep me busy apart from my other habits of reading, walking and meeting friends.

Will you make a copy of the Blue Diary for me and send it over please Baba? She tried in vain over the years to get me into the kitchen but I was always very reluctant and, apart from baking cakes and some special dishes, I was more comfortable with the scalpel doing live surgeries than using the kadhai and spoon on dead meat and fish for them to come alive on the dinner plate.

Ha ha… of course I will do it. My only concern is that I never remember birthdays and the special days apart from hers, yours and my own. Your mother was like the finely tuned Swiss watch that ensured the phone calls and messages to family and friends on such days. And then there were those other dates I always tend to forget…days when the fixed deposits would mature, filing of tax, health and home insurance premiums, license renewal… the list was long, but she never missed one date. I will try and sit down on one of the days to compile them properly but am sure I will goof up now and then.

My bhullakkad Baba… don’t you worry. Aayi knew you well and she had given me a small diary… a Red Diary in which all important dates are chronologically hand written. It also contains when to give Diwali bonus to house staff and how much to increase annually. Incidentally, she has one half of the diary devoted to my dates, special numbers and passwords to remember.

Please make a copy and send it to me.

No, that will remain with me Baba. I will remind you of these days and occasions. It will give me one more reason to constantly call you.

Baba, Sumeet was saying that if you were to install CCTVs in the house that we could watch over you from here. We have done it here, as both of us leave Pinky behind with the house help when we go out to work.

No… no means no beta. I do not want surveillance. I seek fresh air of freedom and openness. I want you to live a good life together and not be glued to the screen watching Benjamin Button grow old. And then you never know, some lady may come to my place and then I will have you guys listening to what we are talking and seeing what we are doing… ha ha… give me independence and my privacy.

Ha ha… dad how can you talk like that…

Humour will keep me in good health darling. Hey, you must be reaching home now. Give my love and kisses to Pinky and Sumeet. There is just one problem which I foresee today…

What is it, Baba?

I have never cooked bombil or made kotmir vade before and so the Blue Diary will not have the recipe for these two things…Checkmate…Queen’s Gambit indeed!

I am the last person to tell you these recipes… just do a deep fry of the Bombay Duck and see to it that it stays crisp. Sprinkle some flour before dipping it in the oil. And as far as the coriander leaves are concerned, just give them to Shanti who will be coming to clean the house. Tell her you got some extra.

That’s good…from today you are Aayi of the house…Aayi to Pinky and me as well. Take care Darling.

Bye Baba.

SS