Happy Birthday Ma

(This is a soliloquy of a daughter talking to her sick mother who is lying for almost a year in a state that can at best be described as between life and death. The song from Tare Zameen Pe has been slightly modified to suit the tale.)

It was my birthday Ma some months ago and as usual I walked into your room at midnight hoping you might just open your eyes for a while and wish me. But you lie still, covered with a bed sheet, eyes closed and two pipes of life- one to feed you through the nose and the other for left over. The night sister looked at me and nodded her head right to left a couple of times and I returned to my room.

It’s been eleven months Ma that you’ve gone all still and silent. Time has moved from my birthday to yours, a couple of days from now. They say you’re living with a heart that beats and lungs that breathe. But I know this is no living. They also say I am living too. But I know everyday doing nothing but getting things ready for you, waiting for my daughter’s call and hubby’s return home, all alone throughout the day with no future to dream of. I know this is no living either.

I pray for your death almost everyday, Ma. I am a bad daughter who prays like this but I can’t see you suffer any more. I pray you depart soon and depart peacefully knowing fully well that after you, I will be very lonely. What will I do after you’re no more…for my life for the last nine years has solely revolved around your medicines, treatment, care and needs. There will be a big void and surely a lonely life ahead of which I do fear.

Main Kabhi Batlaati Nahi,

Par Akelepan Se Darti Hoon Main Maa,
Yuun To Main Dikhlaati Nahi,

Teri Parwaah Karti Hoon Main Maa
Tujhe Sab Hai Pata, Hai Na Maa
Tujhe Sab Hai Pata... Meri Maa

As I see you suffering, I am getting more and more convinced that there is no God. And if He is there He has gone to the doctor to get treated for deafness and loss of sight for He hears no prayers and sees no pain. Then I think that we created Him to give us a meaning to things we never understood, where all good things happened because of Him and all evil was the result of all the evil we had done in life. How much evil have you done Ma to suffer so much, how much bad have I done to go through this never ending suffering…surely there is no God, surely there is no heavenly justice. I will remove all His pictures and idols from the house. In our house of evil and misery, there can be no place for someone as good as Him and His Happiness. I know Ma, you will soon be on your way so it just doesn’t matter. Maybe He may not open the Gates of Heaven to you, so what? Can the other place be any worse? I may have to suffer more and so be it….wherever you are Ma, will want to remember you always smiling.

I wasn’t your favourite Ma. Dada was. After all he was fair, good looking and a boy and he could do no wrong. And then he became a doctor at work and I a nurse in real life. No one trained me in this work, life taught me everything. First it was nursing my in-laws and then then you. In the past I used to hate muck and vomit but today I have got over all bad smell and dirt. I can do anything and everything. No nurse can today put me to ransom that she will not come from tomorrow. I can do everything and do it better than them including cleaning your diaper and more. Often the nurses complain of bad odour and will not touch you without putting on gloves but I can do all the work with my bare hands. Today I enjoy the smell of medicines coming from your room. You never used any gloves when I was a baby and did everything for me Ma…the roles have just reversed…

Bheed Mein Yuun Akeyele Rehna hai Mujhe,

Ghar Laut Ke Bhi Aana Paau Maa
Jaana Hai Itna Door Tujhko Ma,

Yaad Bahut Aayegi Teri Aye Maa
Kya Itni Buri Hoon Main Maa
Kya Itni Buri... Meri Maa

While you are sleeping just like Rip Van Winkle, I have forgotten what sleep is. Dark shades beneath my eyes tell the tale. I wake up so many times at night and check if you are well covered, when it is raining outside I close the window while the nurse sleeps peacefully and by the time she wakes up, the water is kept boiled for her to give you a sponge bath and for sterilizing the instruments. The fruit juice is ready to be served well before time. I even make sure the sister gets her coffee on time…funny I pay them but have become the Super Sister or Sister to the Sisters…Sister Act you may say. To Whoopie Goldberg I say, “This ain’t funny Sister!”

Every birthday Baba would get me my new dress and since my birthday was always close to Durga Puja I would be doubly happy to wear the same dress over and over again. You never missed making a special birthday dawat and even till last year you made the rice pudding (payesh) along with Shibu….he did all the work but under your expert direction. It always felt the tastiest food in the world, better than all the cakes and pastries we get from the best shops in town on other occasions. It is a tradition that I too follow …Payesh on Birthdays is a must. This year too I shall make it for you and touch your tender lips with a spoonful of payesh…hope you like it Ma.

I have seen it all and I have experienced everything. So today, Ma, I am not afraid of anything. The world has rocked me over and over and I don’t know whether to say, I’ve survived or not but I can always say, “Bring it on.” On such days, I will miss you Ma. Whenever I used to get hurt, I would rush to you and how you would hug me and calm me down before putting the medicine and then take me to the doctor. Your presence always comforted me and will miss it from here on.

Jab Bhi Kabhi Duniya Mujhe,

Zor Zor Se Jhula Jhulate Hai Maa
Meri Nazar Dhoondhe Tujhe,

Sochun Yahi Tu Aake Thaamegi Maa
Unase Main Yeh Kehta Nahi,

Par Main Seham Jaata Hoon Maa
Chehre Pe Aane Deta Nahi,

Dil Hi Dil Mein Hi Ghabraata Hoon Maa
Tujhe Sab Hai Pata Hai Na Maa
Tujhe Sab Hai Pata... Meri Maa

I know I have not always been good to you. Often have shouted at you for forgetting things, for doings things the wrong way….I am sure you would have felt bad. It was at times exasperating Ma and so would lose my cool. I am sorry Ma for I should have known you were not well and forgetfulness was a part of your illness. I am sure someday when I am old, I will forget things and do silly stuff that my daughter will lose her head…it will again come back to me Ma. I will miss you Ma…miss you bad.

Just as I was to retire for the day around midnight you suddenly gripped my finger tight and the phone rang…“Happy Birthday Ma,” an excited daughter on the other end calling after reaching her room some 1500 kilometres away after 17 hours of grueling work. Listening to her wish not only made me happy but it also re-ignited faith and hope in life afresh. 

Mother daughter relations are like that. We cry, we fight, we shout but we care, we love and we nurse and in the end miss one another… Tujhe Sab Hai Pata…Meri Maa.

SS

Narendrapur Diaries

It was the spring of 88 when a motley crowd of sixty odd gathered at a place called Narendrapur on the outskirts of Kolkata at a residential training centre. For most, this was our first job and for some, like us, the first stay outside the perimeters of home. And then it was last week that almost 30 of the lot got together on a floating hotel on the Hooghly to commemorate thirty years of friendship. Thanks of course to FB and Whatsapp, despite the so called loss of data and privacy, we were able to connect and come together. As the two and half hour flight took off from Chatrapathi Shivaji International Airport, memories of old came rolling by. Sharing some of those precious moments…some happy…some embarrassing…...some confessional…some never told before.

Hanuman Chalisa

When I left home my mother gave me the protective shield in the form of a copy of Hanauman Chalisa to recite. She said it would ward off all evil in a new place. Like a good boy, I kept it neatly with the precious documents. As I signed the hostel register, saw that I was to share the room with some Narender…what coincidence…Narender at Narendrapur. Hoping to find someone my size I was stunned to see the giant of a man standing at the  entrance…he was definitely six foot plus but over 120 kgs for sure in weight and he was wearing a white T shirt over a blue checked lungi.  One look at him and I knew that no bhoot or pisach would ever come near me with Narender around….the Holy Book never got opened. My roommate turned out to be a Gentle Giant…never intrusive and one could always count upon him for good sensible advice.

Narender & Me

Ice Breaking

There were a twelve girls in the group…this was the Beautiful Dozen which added colour and a breath of freshness to our lives…in fact brought in music to my life. Almost every night post dinner some of us would sit together with some of the girls and start the game the same way…Akkar Bakkar Bambey Bo, Assi Nabbey Purey So….Antakshari. All my life there was only one thing I could do well and that was playing all sorts of outdoor games. This gaana bajaana was never my forte but who knows why I would get drawn to join this mixed group and also butt in with a song or two in a voice that would do Cacophonix of Asterix comics proud.

Yaad hain who lambi raatein

Woh der tak chatt pe gaane

Aaj kehta hoon

Gaane aur antakshari toh bahane thay

Shayad aapse milne ke

Aur ghanton tak saath baithney ke

Woh din hi doston achche thay.

Crushed@Npur

History had shown that a couple of boys and girls of the same batch like ours would definitely fall in love during the course of six months of training and end up marrying but ours was different. With so many girls around Pyaar toh hona hi tha…and I am certain all of us including me fell in love and fell in love multiple times with different girls at different times but possibly were cowards at heart and never could speak up. So love flourished at every nook and corner but never went the distance. So no group wali shaadi for us.

Teen Deviyan

There was this girl who I believe was in love with me and would find reasons to be around anytime anywhere. Around the same time I realized four of my closest buddies in the group were madly in love with her at the same time. Now this was not at all funny. While I was trying to keep the lass at bay for reasons of my own, all these other heartbroken folks acted truly and madly in love. One of them went completely silent and spiritual when the girl told him about my existence. The other acted as her messenger and so called muh bola bhai and would come to mediate between us. There was this third friend who started growing beard…typical Devdas style and gave up food for some days. The fourth kept his emotions under wraps but couldn’t really hide his soft corner for her. There was surely something about this girl….

The second was an enigma and still is. What it was, who she really was can’t really explain, but can’t miss writing about you, Miss.

Tumko toh main aaj tak samajh na paya

Darta tha kuchh bhi kehne se

Kahin kuchh bhool na kar jaaun

Aur tum dekho mujhe teekhi nazaron se

Yaad hai tumhara class mein aana

Aur mera woh Shammi Kapoor wala gaana…

Kya cool thi tum, kya cool ho tum

Samajh na paaye aaj tak hum.

The third would hardly speak but on the parting day gave me a book with a flower within. It was a joke book by a famous author. Why she picked the book I can’t say. Maybe, she felt I was a comedian and needed some fresh jokes to share…or maybe she felt life’s a joke for when we parted, she didn’t say a word, I said nothing. A terrible joke indeed…

Jaatey jaatey de gayi tum ek kitaab

Aur usmein rakh gayi ek gulaab

Phool kuchh dino mein suukh gaya

Aur ek din gir ke kho gaya

Par kitaab aaj bhi jab kabhi khul jaati hai

Yaad teri aaj bhi aa jaati hai.

Che Guevara

This is not about the motorcycle dairies but about a mini revolt at a peaceful holy place called Narendrapur which had a famous Rama Krishna Ashram and School. It so happened that between two sessions in the morning, there was a short tea time break. Post the break, the faculty for teaching Finance & Accounts came into the class. And what he finds written on the board with chalk was a limerick written to say why no one should ever study accounts. This was blasphemy! The fiery Principal came in and wanted to know who had written such unkind words…there was a complete silence. He then asked for the person who had written to stand…the whole batch stood up in unison….what show of unity! Finally he threatened to punish the whole batch with suspension if the coward did not step out…the Brave Heart in me put his hand up….“Get out of the class and go to my room.”

He stormed in with his stenographer in tow and dictated a letter to the Personnel Department rusticating me from the hostel and suspending me from the course. The letter was immediately faxed to the Head Office for approval and I was asked to go to my room. Like an idiot, I quietly, without objecting, went to my room and started packing my bags. Since the wait got long, I felt sleepy and dozed off. After a while, there was a knock on the door…the office boy shouted, “Saar daakhchenn…shiggiri jaan!” (Sir is calling you, go immediately).

I could see my course mates all standing outside the Principal’s room and they started patting my back as I went inside. The fire had still not subsided but the Princi informed me that my friends had decided to do a satyagraha….skipped lunch in protest against his decision. I was asked to go out and request my friends to withdraw their strike and eat the lunch that was getting wasted. They simply refused. A few of them, who had threatening sizes and the baritone voices, with thumping of desks announced that the rustication and suspension orders needed to be withdrawn or else the hunger strike would continue indefinitely. Finally the Princi caved in and tore up the office order which was met with great applause from the students. I suddenly became a hero in the group but a snake in the grass for the Princi and he would pick on me for anything that went wrong in the training period…no wonder my friends called me, “Princi’s Blue Eyed Boy”. How I wished we had some phones with cameras thirty years ago…could have clicked and preserved the limerick for eternity.

Kal Aaj Aur Kal

Tees Saal Baad

Meeting these revolutionaries after so long was an opportunity I wasn’t going to miss. So met them and had a great evening together. During this time, while the girls had turned into mature ladies, some of us boys refused to grow up and still showed traces of our impish side despite wrinkled faces and coloured hair. On my way back to Mumbai wrote a few lines on the Reunion Nite:

Dost Purane

Kya raat thi, Kya baat thi

Kuchh meethey gaane

Kuchh namkeen chichorapan

Gaanon ke saath thi taali

Aur do chaar pyar bhari gaali

Baal kuchh jhad gaye thay

Bachey kuchey rang diye gaye thay

Yaadon mein hum kho gaye

Dil se dil phir ek baar mil gaye

Paani ki leheren ummad rahin thi

Par dil mein leherein unse kuchh zyada thi

Chaand safar pe chal pada tha

Par saath dene ka vada tha

Soney ki kisko thi fikar

Bas raat jaagney ka tha zikar

Haathon mein liye jaam

Honthon pe sabke thi muskaan.

Dost puraney achche thay

Dost puraney achchey rahenge.

SS

Miss Ya Babe

Sitting 1500 kilometres away from my child, who by now has turned into a fine lady, on her birthday, was indeed a sad day. The choices were narrow…brood and sob at her absence or remember her on those good and happy days. The father-daughter duo has always been quite a happy pair when it came to watching movies together. Our tastes are so similar and we watch the same movies over and over again. To the utter disgust of the mother, who is unable to fathom how we keep watching Malamaal Weekly every time it comes on any channel, how a father can watch No Entry with his young daughter and how does the whole world come to a stop on the bed with everything being served there...food, water, snacks and more while watching Potter-Namas…If watching some of these movies repeatedly wasn’t good enough, we have also bought the VCDs of most, if not all,…so that just in case the Star, HBO and Sony forget to play them, we can do it on our own. So today I share with you some of the movies we love watching along with a line from the movie script…some memorable, some mundane and some philosophical. So here’s my Happy Birthday Selection for the Bestest Girl in the Universe.

This is where her love story with movies began and this one is her all-time favourite. Since that very day she has always been Sallu ka Fan.

Log kehte hai khoobsurat ladkiyan jab jhoot bolti hai ... toh aur bhi khoobsurat lagti hai

The mother bought her some of  the all time classics and she fell in love with them as well. Fiddler on the Roof, Roman Holiday...the list is long but The Sound of Music is evergreen and we can watch it anytime.

The hills are alive with the sound of music. With songs they have sung for a thousand years.

The house is full of his books, wands, memorabilia and she still wants more! With most books bought on Day One of release as well as First Day First Show for the movies...

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.

We can both narrate almost every dialogue of this movie we’ve watched the most number of times and yet laugh even more every time we see it.

Zyada chapad-chapad kiye toh mooh mein chaata ghusedh doonga aur kholonga bhi

I couldn’t appreciate this one movie the first time I saw it but then I love every time they show the trilogy. The Return of the King is so inspiring that both of us often quote from Tolkien's Tales.

A day may come when the courage of men fails… but it is not this day

For a change her mother also enjoys this one especially with Nana Patekar selling alu and kaanda.

Agar yeh aasoon nahi ruke na ... toh iss shehar mein tsunami aa jayega

He is an utterly crazy guy and so are his movies but the first few of the series were just brilliant and highly philosophical. There has never been a more lovable pirate in the history of mankind. 

Lots of rum, lots of women. That's Jack for you

This must be one movie other than Padosan that everyone would have seen and will rank it high in the list of all time comedies. Every character was portrayed brilliantly. Priyadarshan was at his best.

Yeh Babu Rao ka Style hai

Neo and his digital world have always been a challenge for me. I still prefer the Superman-Batman type toon stuff but the action gets you hooked when you see it over and over again. The movie for us is right up there.

You have to let it all go, Neo. Fear, doubt, and disbelief.  Free your mind.

She is now an eye surgeon and in this movie Johnny Lever is the surgeon who fixes a goat’s eye on a patient and we still found it ridiculously funny then and now as well.

Kabhi kabhi dil jodne ke liye dil todna padta hai ... aur dil todkar jodne waale ko ... pata nahi kya kehte hai

This is truly a movie which makes you laugh and learn…just right for any Learning & Development Trainer as to how Po, the Panda is trained and groomed by Shifu into the Dragon Warrior.

The secret ingredient is... nothing!

A truly inspiring and wonderful movie which made you sit-up and love the rebels...Apni toh Paathshala, Masti ki Paathshala...

I always believed there were two kinds of men in this world, men who go to their deaths screaming, and men who go to their deaths in silence. Then I met a third kind.

This must rank among the most watched English movie for the Father-Daughter duo and we could do the dubbing for the real actors…almost.

My daddy'll kick your daddy's ass all the way from here to China, Japan, wherever the hell you from and all up that Great Wall too.

This one’s my Biwi’s X-rated movie where we are asked to shut down the TV set as she walks into the room. The last sequence of nagin music as the heroes are hanging from the hill is just too funny.

Kutta jab gaadi ke peeche bhaagta hai toh ... usko gaadi khareedni hai yah chalani hoti hai?

This one is so special and often makes me think whether I too shall be like Steve Martin when the D-Day arrives…worried that someone will, one day, take away my little precious one!

This was the moment I'd been dreading for the past six months. Well, actually for the past 22 years.

The fun, the sensitivity and intensity of this movie with brilliant music and the actors fitting into their  roles perfectly, just makes it an all-time favourite. Who can forget Saif sitting on a pillow and narrating his tale of how he was duped in Goa by a pretty firangi babe.

Hum cake khane ke liye kahin bhi jaa sakte hai

There are many more I could write about Darling but for now remember the first picture we took on our Kodak camera….Ain't she a Beauty?

Happy Birthday My Dearest Princess.

Just when happy memories were filling my mind, came the sad news of Miss Hawa Hawai. Long ago when my daughter was just a tiny tot, we had an old lady taking care of her, when we went to work. The maid would be bored and we were lucky to get an old, used, small B&W television set from my friend Rocky who by then had a colour Sony set in his house. One night, we were all watching Sadma where in one of the scenes Sridevi makes a little puppy do a roll on the grass by saying, “Ram Lal palti khao.” So whenever our old lady wanted M to do a cart wheel, she would say, “Shyam Naal palti kao,” and the little one would smilingly do it.

All I want to say now is, My Princess, make your Life a Happy Movie!

SS

Meet the Greeks

Dear M,

I just returned from a short visit to Athens and in between the official work found myself amidst some glorious history and meeting the people who make Greece come alive. While in our land we are trying to seek new answers to the origin of species, I remembered a dialogue from a movie we saw sometime ago, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, where the Greek father of the bride tells the groom’s American father that, “when my people were writing philosophy, your people were swinging from the trees.” I shall not delve deeper into such highly scientific research papers on the origin but discover the city through the eyes of its people DOA…dead or alive.

The Landing

As my plane landed at Athens, I was greeted by an old man who introduced himself as Eleftherios Venezelos. Since the school days of confusing Pythagoras, Greek names have not had much fascination for me. Kalimera he said and welcomed me. I hope you enjoy the hospitality of my land. By now my phone had got the international roaming operational and I searched for this unusual and unknown benefactor. Google told me that Eleftherios was an eminent Greek statesman and leader who not only played a part in the country’s liberation but was the Prime Minister on a couple of occasions. He is often referred to as the ‘maker of modern Greece.’ The old man saw me off in a taxi and as the car sped onto the highway, I saw boldly written on the building, Eleftherios Venezelos International Airport.

The Name

My next meeting was with Athena. She told me that the city was founded by King Theseus in 3000 BC. The city was, however, named after her as its protector Goddess Athena. According to Greek mythology, there was a competition between Athena and Poseidon. While Poseidon gave a spring with sea water, Athena offered an olive tree and the people chose her, the goddess of wisdom, handicraft and war, as their protector. She is said to have been born from the head of her father Zeus. Her temples were located atop the fortified Acropolis at the centre of the city. She took me to see the old Temple of Athena as well as the Parthenon which was built in the later part of the 5^th century BC to celebrate the Hellenic victory of the Persians. She lamented that there is not much of the Temple left as it was converted into a Christian Church dedicated to Virgin Mary and later in 15^th century AD when the Ottoman Turks ruled Greece, it become a mosque. In the 19^th century, thanks to Lord Elgin, most of the marble of the temple was shipped across to London and sold. However, she feels happy now as the Greeks have preserved a good amount of original figures and objects in the Acropolis Museum.

Acropolis

Temple of Athena

Parthenon

The nation Greece has a population of 11 million of which over 5 million live in just one city…no prizes for guessing the right answer. We, the people of India, are just 1250 million population…surely our race couldn’t have come outta chimps and monkeys…we can do it without them!

The Father & The Spirit

Having met Athena, I was keen to meet her father. He lived quite close to her but in the foothills in a garden where the Greeks had constructed a huge Temple in his honour. I was very afraid to meet him for after all he keeps a lightning bolt in his hands and hurls it at those who oppose him and liars...Since I told him about my meeting with Athena, he was pretty much sober to me but as he took me around his Temple, I could see all Gods and mortals bowing at his presence. He was after all the father of all the Gods and people. He was the presiding deity of the universe, ruler of the skies and earth and the god of all natural phenomena on the sky.

Temple of Zeus

The Spirit of Louis

Greece is not just about Zeus and Athena. It has champions of its own and I happened to meet Spyridon Louis at the Panathenaic Stadium. He still remembers the day fondly as he crossed the line in the Summer Games of 1896. To the Greeks this victory meant a lot as this race from the city of Marathon to Athens was inspired by the legend of Pheidippides. With many runners falling off during the race, Spyridon was cheered hugely by the crowds in the streets and in the historic stadium. At night, eating at a typical Greek restaurant, met another Greek legend, Nikolaos  Kaklamanakis. That is truly the closest I’ve been to an Olympic and World Champion. 

Nikolaos came from humble upbringing but was naturally endowed for wind surfing. Greece with its huge coastline has almost at all times a breeze that borders between gentle to gusty and is a good place for wind surfing. Nikolaos, however, remembers his Olympic Gold at the Atlanta Games of 1994 when he was faced with competition from the host nation. The Americans had a huge advantage over Nikolaos as they had extremely accurate knowledge of the wind direction and speed forecast which could prove critical in a wind surfing race. Nikolaos, however, said that years of training and being in waters for hours together had trained his ears and body to understand and feel the slight changes in wind directions and temperatures before anyone and, undeterred by his disadvantages, he went on to win the gold. In 2004 Athens Games he won the Silver Medal but more importantly he was given the honour of running the last lap with the Olympic torch and run up the steps to light the Olympic Flame.

Poster of First Modern Olympic Games 1896

With Nikolaos, the World & Olympic Champion

Hum Honge Kamayaab Ek Din

Lord God of the Seas

My next meeting was with the God of the Seas and protector of seafarers, Poseidon. He too lamented that his Temple at Sounion lay in utter ruins. Poseidon was a major god of several Greek cities and was second only to Athena in importance. When happy, Poseidon would create new islands and offer calm seas. No wonder Greece has 220 uninhabited islands and over 5000 uninhabited ones, all thanks to Poseidon. When he was offended he struck the ground with his trident and caused earthquakes and shipwrecks. But the view from the Temple of Poseidon against the Aegean Sea was, undoubtedly, the most magnificent.

Temple of Poseidon

Aegean Sea is So Big & Beautiful

 The Arch

Hadrian's Arch

Next, I caught up with Hadrian, the Roman Emperor who fell in love with the city of Athens and made it his own. He showed me the Arch he had erected and the only thing that remains standing till date. I asked him the meaning of the two inscriptions on the two sides of the Arch which read:

·         ΑΙΔ' ΕΙΣΙΝ ΑΘΗΝΑΙ ΘΗΣΕΩΣ Η ΠΡΙΝ ΠΟΛΙΣ (This is Athens, the ancient city of Theseus).

·     ΑΙΔ' ΕΙΣ' ΑΔΡΙΑΝΟΥ ΚΟΥΧΙ ΘΗΣΕΩΣ ΠΟΛΙΣ (This is the city of Hadrian, and not of Theseus).

Emperor Hadrian smiled and explained, that the first inscription on the northwest side pays tribute to Thesus who is said to be the founder of the ancient city and the one on the southwest is what I built as new Athens and not the one built by Theseus.

The Square

Greek Protestors for Macedonia

Greek Soldier Guarding the Parliament 

 My final meeting was with King Alexander, the Great. I met him at the Syntegma Square or the plot overlooking the Greek Parliament. He seemed a worried man as he was being pulled at different directions by the people of the land. After the break-up of the former Yugoslavia, a Republic of Macedonia was created. The Greeks still refuse to call the country Macedonia as they believe I was a Greek and my land, an integral part of Greece. When I met Alexander, it was a crowded street with a hundred thousand Greeks with flags in their hands and shouts of Hellas and Macedonia were reverberating even after I went into my hotel room as the traditional Greek soldier stood guard over the Parliament.

George the Kind Heart

On my last day of the visit we planned to pick up some gifts for people back home and boarded a taxi to go to MacArthur Glen, a nice shopping place on the outskirts of the city. It was long drive from King George, the hotel where we were put up and our handsome driver, too, was named George with whom we befriended on this short trip. On reaching we bid good bye and suddenly my colleague Atul realised that he had left his mobile phone in the cab. Mobile today is any man’s lifeline. You cannot think of a micro-second without looking, messaging and fiddling with this object. Atul was saddened but made a call to the hotel staff and told them about the incident and the driver. Soon we got a call back, they had contacted the driver and the phone would be duly returned back by the evening. When we returned, we were told by the front desk lady that the phone had been placed in Atul’s room. No wonder this country is so tourist friendly with 35% of the country’s GDP coming from tourism. Thanks George. Thanks Greece.

Last Word

Dear Daughter, I am today not worried about the ascent of man whether it was a monkey or a donkey from where it all began but more concerned about the descent of man. We are today becoming worse than monkeys and turning this world into the Planet of Apes.

SS

Super Jaat

He joined Mumbai Office, as the Head for Agency Sales, a couple of days after I took charge of the overall business of the city. He was crude, rude and brash…being from Delhi I knew this kind…the typical latth maar Jaat who terrorized all in the capital city. My first interaction with him reconfirmed my doubts whether this man would fit into the so called MNC Insurance company we were in…what’s wrong with HR…how can they select this person who couldn’t speak one line of correct English and here I was writing and speaking prim and proppa Queen’s English taught by the best catholic missionaries in the elitist environs of Lutyens’ Delhi. This was ten and two years ago. Since then much has changed. Today, let me share with you three episodes from the life of this man Ranveer…My Super Jaat.

Chapter One: The Brute

As part of sales training, we used to have a couple of trainers in the team. One of the earlier ones had resigned and we recruited one young lady from a competitor who we all feared and knew had the best sales practices. She was Shahana Ghosh, a petite Bengali ….pretty, friendly and chirpy. On her first day of work at Mumbai Office, she was introduced to me and I did some pep talk and some words in Bangla…we just can’t resist speaking in our mother tongue whenever we see another of our breed. During the day I saw Shahana meeting a host of people, including those from Sales, and all seemed pretty enamored by this lady who would smile and laugh in bursts quite often. These are good traits for a trainer to become friendly with the people. A good hire by Ranveer, I had to admit. If morning shows the day then I was convinced Shahana would be able to settle down well and help us build the best agency force on land.

While driving back home in the evening, my phone rang. It was from an unknown number but despite having promised my family not to take calls while driving, I picked up the call and put the phone on speaker mode. I had barely said hello when I realized that the person on the other side was sobbing profusely as she said, “Sir, this is Shahana…kotha boltey paari (Can I speak?). “ I knew talking to a crying person while driving would mean I would have some people crying back home or in some other homes, so I said, “I will call you back soon.” I pressed on the accelerator and reached home, parked my car and picked up the phone to call back. “Ki hoyeche (What happened)?” I asked. “Sir, Ranveer has asked me to put in my resignation papers immediately.” “But why, what happened?” “Ranveer asked me to conduct training on Saturdays and I told him that in this organization we have a five day week and I needed to give time to my family in the weekends so I cannot come on Saturdays. He was furious and spoke badly to me in front of the other team members. He has asked me to put in my papers today.” I have been known to be a soft boss and listening to a lady cry and that too from a bhadramahila ought to be, in normal circumstances enough excuse for me to comfort the employee and put the errant employee in place. But for once I told her to give me time to speak to Ranveer and come back to her….of course consoled her and told her that she was in good hands and that we were an employee friendly company.

No sooner had I kept the phone down than I got a call from the Head of HR who sounded furious, “You need to reign in Ranveer. He cannot speak badly to employees and this is not the first complaint. This time we have been told he used foul language to a lady who is upset and crying.” My next call, in all calmness, was to Ranveer whom I asked to meet me first thing next morning. Ranveer came in and explained, “Boss, this lady had the audacity to tell me that she will not work on Saturdays. Only because her previous organization had a six day weekly schedule that she quit and came over. She thinks our company is where she can party on Fridays and rest on weekends. My entire sales team works six days even though all others in the company work for just five days. Saturdays are usually kept for training. Tell me what message would have gone down to the team if a subordinate refused to work like all others?” Ranveer had me stumped and I couldn’t question his decision. Ms Ghosh put in her papers and exited within a week of joining.  Never saw any one shown the door faster in all my thirty years f work experience! 

My Super Jaat was not all ‘Fire & Fury’ always. We had two young lady management trainees from the country’s premier insurance training institute in Pune. As luck would have it, I knew their fathers well enough so wanted to ensure they were well taken care of and given cushy roles as Underwriters. But my Super Jaat had other ideas. “Sir all new MTs should be made to work in sales for the first few years just as they do in FMCGs like HUL.” He was always so convincing that I didn’t feel like arguing beyond a point and so these two sophisticated and elegant girls started their insurance careers in agency sales. Ranveer got me to agree to transfer the girls to Liability Underwriting after two years in agency sales as that was what they aspired for. The girls turned out to be the best sales employees in the company under guidance of the Jaat King and exactly when they completed two years, they moved into their new roles as underwriters where they excelled even more.

Ranveer and I worked together for about four long years and heard numerous complaints of employees in his team and HR about his brashness and use of language unheard of in the company elsewhere but by now I knew his worth and gave him a free hand, as he worked with innovation, creativity and passion beyond words, to do wonders with business.

Chapter Two: The Businessman

One fine day, Ranveer declared he was quitting his job and becoming an entrepreneur. Never did I doubt his abilities but leaving a well-paid job for an uncertain business was beyond the imagination of any Bengali and I was no exception. When asked what was he getting into he told me his engineer wife Komal, who had been doing well in a financial services company, had quit earlier and had been working on a software. They would now be starting an e-Commerce venture called Green eKart which would provide fresh vegetables and fruits to people around Kandivali, Malad and Goregaon. He invited us for the opening of his office at Kandivali where he treated us to some hot samosa, chai and jalebi. There were a couple of people working for him but he said he had a couple of angel investors and a very good person who would ensure the fresh produce to be arranged, packed and delivered just in time.

I was more of a good Bangali who would take two big jhola bags to the market every Saturday- one for vegetables and the other for fruits. But as luck would have it I suffered a repeat of a terrible slip-disc attacks which forced me to forget carring the weekly bags. Necessity is the mother of invention and the mother of my daughter went on to try Green eKart. She was terribly circumspect and was almost sure that the stuff delivered would be bad. What happened thereafter was history. She got hooked on to Green eKart and even though there were bigger e-Commerce sites for fresh stuff, she promoted Green eKart to all her known people. The vegetables and fruits were always so fresh and prices so reasonable. More than that, what impressed us were the well groomed and trained boys who would come to deliver. The technology was simple and the website easy to manage.

Business took off well and Green eKart started spreading beyond the suburbs to deliver to all parts of Mumbai. While Ranveer was the heart that kept the supplies going and planned for new locations and logistics, Komal was the brain who managed the entire backend of technology and finance. When it was mango season, the Alfonso delivered by Ranveer’s boys was the best in taste and price. How many people I would have gifted the small boxes of half dozen Alfonso! Soon many of them started becoming Green eKarters too. The website was full of happy customers who wrote in praise of the fresh deliveries and among them were many a celebrity. Often Ranveer and Green eKart were in the news.

Ranveer and Komal had a lovely daughter and the family would come to our place once a year- Diwali. It was such a pleasure to meet them. During one such visit Ranveer told me of his plans to raise money and that he was meeting a lot of large VCs. He said the beauty of e-Commerce was in size and unless you grow fast and big, you cannot make money and survive. Then one day he told me that they were winding up Green eKart as they could not muster up enough funds for expansion. Some businessman was buying them out.  Ranveer and Komal had put in their money into this venture of theirs so surely they would have lost heavily but they made sure every employee of theirs was absorbed by someone, every penny of theirs was paid in time and when all this was going on the couple never ever complained or sounded bitter. They took it in their stride. Ranveer became a speaker at various forums to lecture people on e-Commerce and how not to fail in business. Sometime later, he joined a multinational company involved in agriculture as COO.  Recently he shared his picture at Rashtrapati Bhawan where he had been invited by the President of India as a dignitary who had made a difference to the lives of farmers.

We’ve since tried many other e-Commerce sites for fresh food but none so far has come close to Green eKart.

Chapter Three: Baap re Baap

Ranveer comes from the state of Haryana where the gender ratio is disproportionately adverse for girls. It is a state still very feudal where women are second class citizens, where only men matter and people pray for boys. Female foeticide is very common. Ranveer and Komal were happy with their cute little girl who loved Harry Potter like any other child. They had age on their side and could have had another child but one day Ranveer declared that he wanted to adopt a child. I thought he was joking and doing some big talk. Later, I realized he was serious. Adoption in India is not easy. Komal and Ranveer went through the entire process for over six months and a week ago he told me that Khushi, a seven year old girl had come to be a part of their lives, and how she had brightened up their home. Normally people want to adopt boys and then the next in line of demand are baby girls. There were not many takers for a seven year old girl. Today Khushi is khush and I know she will always be in the wide warm arms of my Super Jaat.

'Normal is Boring' said Fido Dido the cartoon character in 7 UP advertisements and it is so much applicable to Ranveer as well. Deep in my heart my love and respect for him grows with time. There are so many qualities of Ranveer that I wish I had to be a better man. But know that is not possible for there can be One and Only One Super Jaat.

SS