Saturday 21 May 2022

WHEN YOU SAY NOTHING AT ALL

This weekend I was sitting and watching a Bengali movie on Amazon Prime. The protagonist’s role was being played by one of my favourite actors, Soumitra Chatterjee. This was probably one of the thespian’s last performances. It hardly seemed like he was acting, it was all too natural.  A simple story about friendship, integrity, principles and some values lost in time. A cynical, old man, for whom self respect is everything, gets on with only three people and they happen to be his bedridden wife, who soon leaves him alone in the world, his old school friend and his youngest grandson. His three children feel that their father never used his contacts or else each of them would have climbed the social ladder much further, their father’s strong principles and integrity had got them nowhere. Their prime accusation against him was that he neither made use of his position and contacts to go places nor did he use them for furthering the cause of his children or grandchildren. There was nothing great about the story centred on this middle class family but somehow it rang a bell somewhere and certain words and expressions the protagonist used reminded me of my own father. But what really came out beautifully was the friendship between the two octogenarians who had been friends since their schooldays and there again I was reminded of another such devoted friend.

Kanai Kaku (Kaku being the Bengali word for paternal uncle) is what we called him. As far as my memory goes, I can still see him reclining in an armchair next to my father. One of them is following a match on the television while the other is scanning the newspaper.  I asked my mother, “Don’t they talk to each other?” Ma replied, “Of course they do, but they can also sit for hours without exchanging a single word.” Being a chatterbox schoolgirl at that time, this was truly incomprehensible to me. Every evening, after office, Kanai Kaku would come to our house overlooking the River Hooghly in Garden Reach. Whether Baba was early or late in returning, whether he was on tour or not, it did not matter, he would wait patiently for him. Together they would enjoy their cups of tea and evening snacks, watch a match, exchange views on some headlines of the day, sometimes argue or simply sit quietly without saying a word. Kanai was his old school friend from the Government School they attended together. Baba was a self made man, having lost his father at four. His grandfather had said that with his meager pension he would be able to take care of the education of his eldest grandson. So the younger grandson knew from an early age that he would have to make his way in life through scholarships and hard work. So working and studying simultaneously from the age of sixteen, he completed his post-graduation and then went on to become a Chartered Accountant and, finally, after clearing the UPSC examination, he joined the Indian Railway Accounts Service (IRAS). His friend Kanai, who also had his own cross to bear, was by then working for the Indian Railways too.

Kanai Kaku was tall and thin, with a fast receding hairline, always dressed in his spotless white dhoti and crisp cotton or khadi kurta. Kanai Kaku was a bachelor, who never married as he was asthmatic, and lived with his elder brother and his family. He helped raise his nieces and nephews, who took good care of him in his later years too. My mother always spoke very highly of this family and told me how Kanai Kaku’s elder brother and his wife had taken her under their wings when she first set up her marital home. Kanai Kaku’s nieces and nephews, two of whom were studying Medicine and Dentistry, were closer to her in age and were her first friends in the Railway Colony in Garden Reach.

My father’s job took him all over India while Kanai Kaku remained in Calcutta but their friendship survived all the transfers and travels. 

Kanai Kaku visited us in many of the places where Baba was posted. Once he came to stay with us for a few days in Durgapur where Baba had shifted on a deputation. Kanai Kaku had his own quirks and idiosyncrasies and as we grew older we came to be quite familiar with them and often laughed about them behind the two friends’ backs. My mother was a good cook and generally her culinary skills were appreciated by all and even the cooks working under her supervision served mouthwatering platter to the guests. So at a Sunday lunch, Ma asked him, “Did you enjoy the mutton dish? Would you like some more?” Kanai Kaku’s reply came, “No it’s not cooked well- too bland.” We were quite taken aback and both my brother and I tried hard to stifle our giggles on seeing the expression on Ma’s face and anticipating the explosion that would follow. As luck would have it, the next morning Ma found a carelessly thrown cash memo, in the corner of the verandah, which turned out to be a bill for a plate of mutton cutlet from a local eatery! He must have tried their bestseller on his way back from the evening walk. I leave the rest to the imagination of my readers for, as is well known, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Anyway, these minor setbacks never came in the way of the two friends and Kanai Kaku kept up his visits the frequency depending upon the proximity of the place of my father’s postings to Calcutta. Once, when my mother was hospitalized and had to undergo surgery, one of the most regular visitors, apart from the family, was Kanai Kaku . Every evening as soon as the doors opened for the visitors he would reach with  a tiny box containing two diabetic sandesh ( sugar-free or made with some sugar substitute) as in the course of the hospital investigations she had been tested to be borderline diabetic. He was so punctual that the nurse in charge asked, “That man, in white dhoti kurta, who comes to visit you every day…is he your elder brother?” And my mother’s reply was, “You couldn’t have been more right.” That was Kanai Kaku… not one to land up with expensive gifts or fancy stuff… but suddenly he would appear with a bunch of rajnigandhas  on my parents’ anniversary, or may be a pot of rosogollas to celebrate my passing high school, or piping hot pakoras wrapped in newspaper on a rainy day. I can recall so many evenings when we would go off to a movie or go shopping leaving the two friends glued to the TV screens watching a football match or each doing his own reading without bothering to exchange a word. Many a times the whole family would go off to attend some social event and Kanai Kaku would not mind being attended to by our Man Friday, Bhola or Shankar or even being left alone. Now I realize we were his family, not his friend’s family.

He was there beside us when our father suffered his first heart attack. He was there sitting beside my father when we lost our grandmother.  He was there when my father built his house, post his retirement, in the same ancestral town from where the two boys had begun their journey. By then Kanai Kaku’s nephews had also shifted back there and he had moved in with them. One day I returned from the university to find my father sitting with his head bowed down in the verandah of our house while the evening darkness crept in. He had not turned on the lights. I asked my mother what had happened. She replied, “Kanaida is no more. He just came back from there.”

I remember my father always wore trousers and shirts, occasionally formal suits and the Jodhpuri bandhgala when officialdom demanded, and kurta-pyjamas while at home. We rarely saw him in dhoti- kurta except for family weddings, that too of very close ones. But on the day he passed away he put on a dhoti-kurta early morning to attend a Tagore birth anniversary celebration organized by his old school. Everyone who saw him that day commented that he looked good, for he was a truly handsome man. And within a few hours he was gone. The doctor who certified his death was his friend Kanai’s nephew. I never got a chance to say goodbye, none of us did. Perhaps he had dressed that way specially to meet his friend up there.

DS 

Sunday 15 May 2022

Stupid Cupid

Hello! Is this the IT Helpdesk?

Yes. How can I help you?

Listen I have got my laptop delivered today. I need someone to configure it so that I can use it.

Ok. Please let me know your name and desk number and someone will contact you soon.

I am Subodh Sahai and I am on workstation number 559.

He kept the phone down and was feeling elated. A laptop bag slung from the shoulder and a visiting card with manager designated of a multi-national company was something big for Subodh who had moved into the company a couple of days ago from his hometown at Patna. Here he was in the city of dreams where sky was the limit for his aspirations and with a laptop to boast, he knew he had taken the first step. All he now wanted was the black pearl of a machine to start working and he would get going with his work day and night and make his mark before his boss and others in the company. He waited for almost an hour watching others working on their desk tops…listening to the clickety click clickety click of the keyboards.

Hello…Helpdesk!! Please send someone quickly. I have been waiting patiently like an idiot.

Sorry Sir. I will come immediately said the soft voice from the other end.

In no time a petite lass came over wearing a nice flowery dress. She did not look anything more than eighteen or nineteen. Subodh looked at her and kept looking. Suddenly realizing his folly, he quickly spoke.…I am sorry for being so rude over the phone. It is just that I was feeling somewhat upset that I was not being able to work despite being in office.

Don’t worry, Sir. Let me get your machine working.

She picked up the laptop and was taking it elsewhere but Subodh insisted that she sit on his chair rather than go elsewhere.  He refused to listen to her protests and ensured she sat down before him and opened up the machine. While the girl was working on the laptop, Subodh tried to look away and was making all efforts to ignore her but something was happening to him as he found himself glancing at the girl often with a smile on his face.

What’s your name? He found the courage to ask her.

I am Leah Menezes.

I am Subodh. I am the Manager in the Purchase Department.

After working for over an hour, Leah handed over the working laptop to Subodh….It is all yours now.  Let me know if you have any trouble operating it.

Subodh thanked her and for the next thirty seconds watched the girl walking away and, as she disappeared into the big hall, he turned his attention to the magic screen before him. He started working and worked till late and then neatly packed the machine in the new bag and drove his small car to the paying guest accommodation, not too far from the office. After dinner, he opened up the laptop and started working again….now he could impress his boss who was a hard task master.  He worked till late and hit the bed. He switched off the light but soon realized that sleep was eluding him.The pretty face of Leah hovered in his thoughts….Leah smiling…her lovely teeth glistening and dimples on both her cheeks, lovely legs….Subodh shifted the pillow from under his head and held it tight close to his chest….sometime later he must have fallen happily asleep.

Subodh was an early riser and went to office early. He wanted to impress his boss who too would come in early but today Subodh beat him to work. The boss looked at his understudy working alone in the hall early and went into his cabin. After working for an hour or so, Subodh went to have a round of coffee. It was now time for the other staff to come to work. While having coffee, he was hoping to get a glimpse of Leah….he waited at the coffee station which overlooked the entrance for a while and was about to go back to his work place when he saw Leah entering. She was chatting with a couple of other girls. She did not notice Subodh whose eyes were glued on to her and her alone.

Uff…she’s so pretty….my day is made….he felt elated as he watched her go towards her work station…he saw her take her seat….aaha…so that’s where I can go and see her if required….he thought and went back to work. He then got engrossed in his work which he found very interesting. A couple of times he went to the vending machine and tried to look in the direction of Leah’s seat but, unfortunately, was not able to see her again.

Next morning, Subodh waited at the same time to keep a watch on the entrance and once again saw Leah walk in. This became routine. He saw her couple of times walking past his seat as she moved from seat to seat fixing any hardware related issues. Subodh wished his laptop would give some trouble and he would call for her but then the damned machine was too good and worked without any complaints for days together and then, one day, the screen went blank. At last his wish came true!

Helpdesk…kindly send someone to seat 559. My laptop has suddenly gone blank. It is an emergency.

Yes Sir…said a voice that Subodh recognized for he had been listening to it almost every night.

He was happy that his laptop had shut. I will once again get to meet Leah and talk to her….he waited with his heart thumping.

You are Subodh Sir…let me check the machine….said a young man who got down to work.

This was double disappointment…first the laptop had gone bad and now instead of Leah some other technician had come. The young lad tried hard for long but could not re-start the laptop.

Why don’t you ask someone else to come and help you? Said Subodh.

Ok Sir.

In came Leah to the rescue of both the machine and our man from Patna. A smile dawned on Subodh’s face as he saw Leah get down to work and he got the opportunity to chat with her. He did not want the machine to start working early even though work was piling on. Leah finally got the machine working and he thanked her profusely.….. .I owe you a treat Leah. If it were not for you, my laptop would have never re-started.

No Sir, this is my work. You can at best give a good feedback when the mail comes to your inbox from our department. Based on customer feedback, our annual performance is rated.

Surely…I will give you a five star rating and if there is anything higher, will give that to you.

Thanks so much Sir….and she left for another customer call.

Subodh kept looking at the girl walking away into the crowd...his heart was thumping…Uff..she’s so so pretty…he said to himself.

Subodh kept meeting Leah once in a while and also gave her a knowing smile whenever she looked at him. She too reciprocated which made our hero feel on top of the world. He would now take a walk around the hall to look at her casually. He even got to speak to her at the cafeteria and came to know she lived not too far from his place. Subodh, however, never missed Leah at night, for the instant he would shut his eyes she appeared without fail and stayed with him.

The office New Year party date and venue had been announced and everyone was excited. Employees were free to invite their partners and spouses. People told Subodh that this was a big day when there would be a big bash with lots of spirits flowing, great music playing and people dancing together. On the day of the party, the employees were allowed to go home early to change into their party wear and also bring their partners. Subodh saw Leah leaving. He quickly shut his work and started his car hoping to give her a lift…this was his big chance! As his car moved out of the basement parking, he saw Leah standing across the street hailing for an auto-rickshaw. The usually calm and composed driver Subodh suddenly pressed the accelerator and, in no time, reached the place where his lady love was standing but then instead of stopping, rolling down the window and asking her if he could drop her home, he drove ahead and then stopped. She was still there….should I reverse the car and ask her…what will she think of me….she is much too younger than me and what will other office people standing on the road close to her say….so many questions and doubts were rushing through his head. He kept looking at her from the rear view mirror and saw an auto-rickshaw stop and Leah stepping into it. The rick passed his stationary car and all he saw were her pretty legs and a part of her dress at the knee. He banged his palm on the steering wheel in anger and frustration….what a chance I had and I missed it! Idiot!!

Subodh went home, changed into casual clothes and headed towards the hotel and passed the street where he knew Leah lived. He was hoping she would again be waiting to catch a ride to go to the party but, alas, she was not to be seen. As usual, Subodh reached the venue early and met with a couple of people who were there. Soon the hall started filling up and the music began to play. Subodh stationed himself near the entrance, this time determined to greet Leah whenever she came in. Some people had taken to the floor and there was a big crowd at the bar. Subodh kept looking at his watch….why isn’t she here…is she at all coming? He said a silent prayer asking her to appear and lo there she was….oh how pretty she looked in a black dress. Subodh took a deep breath, flexed his smile a bit and was about to step in front of Leah when he saw her walking in with a tall young man who was holding her hand. Subodh turned around and disappeared in the party crowd.

The party was in full swing and Subodh refused to join his colleagues on the dance floor. He was in no mood for merriment. Subodh…get me a drink….Teacher’s large with no ice….shouted his boss from the floor. Subodh promptly went to the bar to get the drink where he met Leah.

Hello Sir…Having fun? Meet Xavi here.

Hello Leah…Hi Xavi…said Subodh shaking hands with the man who had taken away all his happiness.

Xavi is working at Infosys and plays football.

Hmmm football……Play football where for some club?

No…for the office team.

Enjoy the evening….said Subodh and moved closer to the bar for placing his order. After a bit of pushing around he managed to get the drink ordered by his boss. With the drink in hand, he stood alone for a while… He plays football…she never asked me ever whether I played or not? I too can play and have played at school, college, university and clubs….I can beat Xavi any day. I will dribble around him for six days without letting him touch the ball and then give him the ball to play on Sunday which would be my day of rest. Football at Infosyss…what a joke!!

He started drinking from the glass in his hand and soon gulped it down and walked out of the party. He drove his car to his residence, stopped a little ahead of the entrance to the society and got off. He went to a pay phone booth and dialed….

Hello Renu

Hello Subodh…how was the party?

Good…is Chumki awake?

No…she waited for your call and has just gone to sleep.

Ok…I just wanted to speak to you.

Why what happened…hope all’s well at work?

No…all is fine. It is just that I was feeling a bit lonely here. Why don’t Chumki and you shift quickly to Mumbai….I am missing the two of you…said Subodh with a voice that was cracking….aa jao jaldi bass…

SS 

Sunday 1 May 2022

Creatures of the Night

Delhi 1995

There is no place like Delhi in winters. It is the time to dress, enjoy your food and get together with your friends and family just to have good fun. It is also the time for weddings when all the goodness of spirits comes together. We were invited to the wedding of the daughter of our Bengali boss to a Punjabi groom. We read the card several times and landed up five minutes before 7pm, the time that was printed for the first of the ceremonies. We entered the pandal and did not find anyone inside. We must have come to the wrong place, my wife exclaimed. She took out the big four page invitation card and read the address again and walked up to the security fellow at the gate who confirmed that we had indeed come to the right place but far too early….after all this was a Punjabi baaraat coming and it seemed all the other guests knew, including the bride’s parents, and hence were in no hurry to reach the venue. Since the place was not too far from India Gate, with a baby in tow, we took an auto rickshaw and went over to the lawns there for a stroll.

After half an hour, we once again reached the venue and to our utter delight we found the bride’s dad around….arrey D, S…esho esho….Our attendance was marked. We sat down waiting for some nice hot kebabs and snacks to be served but it was a little too early for that. I even took a walk behind the screen to see the place where the dinner would be laid but that space seemed bereft of any activity. They had just begun to light the fire in the mud oven….and my heart said, tandoori kebabs will shortly follow! We saw some other guests trickling in and D was amazed to see the women folk who, in the middle of January, were wearing sleeveless blouses and no winter clothing to protect while she had a pure wool cardigan and a Kashmiri shawl wrapped around her. I made a gesture to her with my thumb pointing towards my mouth in the most elementary code language that they must have taken a good number of shots of alcohol before entering the marriage venue. Nothing protects like a good spirit down your throat. I said try that and you can also show off your sari and jewellery.

We waited patiently for the baaraat and the kebabs to arrive but no one other than us was in any hurry for now the bar was open and people seemed to have just started enjoying the evening. One good thing about the bar having opened was that some nice, hot kebabs started circulating and I made sure anyone who passed by our seat with a tray was stopped once, asked what he was carrying and, more often than not, a couple of pieces were picked up and passed on to the much embarrassed wife who, after a while, threatened to walk out if I did not stop my shameful antics. Till this day, I have not understood why eating what you liked was seen as shameful…if I did not eat, someone else would and I was hungry too. After the afternoon lunch, I had not touched a morsel and the barbecue food was manna from the heaven. Anyway, after a while, saw some of the dinner trays had a small fire lit under them signalling that anyone in hurry could eat. This was the opportunity we were waiting for. We walked up to our Boss and handed him an envelope and asked him to give it to his daughter who was now busy getting married. I told him that we had to reach home early as our little girl had school the next morning. The gentleman man agreed and asked us to eat well before we left- you must try out all the fish delicacies! So the plates were filled along with the near divine jalebi with rabdi combo which, according to me, is the best dessert on a winter night. Next we hailed our three-wheeled chariot to go home. By now it was almost 10pm and the temperature had dropped drastically. D covered our girl with her shawl to stop the gust of cold air beating on her tender cheeks.

The auto fellow dropped us about five hundred metres away from our house and we started walking. All the houses seemed shut and no one was outside….no, not all were inside. There was one bungalow where there was a light in the portico and, as we approached nearer, saw an old man in a checked lungi with a woollen cap, a heavy sweater, a muffler round his neck pacing slowly up and down. It was my father who was out alone in the winter night and he quickly opened the gate as he saw us approach.

How many times do I have to tell you that I am not a kid anymore? Why do you have to wait for us outside? If you do this, we will never be able to go out anywhere at night.

The old man did not argue but I knew, he would keep doing this as always. I had seen him since childhood when he would ask me to return home after sunset. It didn’t matter how early I left the house, even if it was before sunrise, but I necessarily had to be back at a good time. When in my teens, I returned home late, I always found him waiting for me outside the house…anxiously and patiently. It never mattered whether it was the middle of a scorching summer or ice cold winter….he would be walking up and down, never to stop till the last of the people of the household had come into the comfort and safety of the home.

Mumbai 2005

My flight landed at Mumbai after 11pm. It would have landed at least thirty minutes earlier but for the congestion in the sky. I loaded my suitcase in a kali-peeli taxi and headed home. The only time you can have a smooth ride in Mumbai is before 7am. After that it did not matter what the time was, mid-afternoon or mid-night, you were bound to be caught up in traffic snarls on the dug up roads of the so called Economic Capital of India. By the time I stepped out of the cab, it was well past mid-night but, fortunately, I had the keys to the house and wouldn’t have to ring the bell to wake up the people inside. I slowly turned the key and opened the main door just enough for me to squeeze inside. It was completely dark inside with all the lights out except for a small green night lamp which I could faintly see illuminating my mother’s room facing the main entrance. Like a stealthy thief I felt I had entered without anyone noticing and had started to walk towards the master bedroom when a stuttering faint voice spoke up…

Eshey geshish Shibu…you’ve come Shibu?

She had suffered a stroke about fifteen days ago and was not keeping well at all. Her health was going downhill and almost every day the decline was becoming apparent. She had to be given sedatives at night to make her go to sleep and here she was awake when the whole world slept.

Hain Ma…yes mother. Why are you awake so late, Ma?

I walked into her room. She tried to shift her body slightly to make room for me to sit but wasn’t successful. I helped her a bit and sat down next to her, holding her hand. She smiled and held my hand as tight as she could. I patted her forehead with my other hand. We spoke a little but were together for quite some time. I offered her some water to sip and helped her go to the toilet. After she returned to her bed, I asked her to go off to sleep. She nodded her head. I went to my room, changed and before hitting the bed returned to do one last check on her. She was now sound asleep like a baby. I said a little prayer…she had been suffering for long and may the lord heal her or relieve her of her pain.

Mumbai 2022

It was the end of a hectic month when business pressures were at their peak. Travelling to cities, meeting clients and brokers, going through a deluge of mails and crunching data, reviewing the preparations and progress on a daily basis ended that night of 31st March with the news pouring in from all locations about businesses retained and new accounts acquired. The mood was upbeat and after all reports of the day’s collections were done, we all went out to celebrate at a nice place not far from the office. I had already told D that my dinner surely would not be at home that night and that she should go off to sleep as I would be very late in returning home.

No business celebrations are ever complete without the spirits flowing out of the bottles and flowing into the veins of the men. This inevitably leads to the food getting much delayed for you cannot tell these spirited men and women that it is getting late guys….you will be mocked to the world’s end for being a sissy. At the earliest possible opportunity, I walked up to pick up a little food as my tummy was almost full eating the finger foods that were getting served while I gulped a couple of fresh line sodas and virgin mojitos. Finally, excused myself at around 1am, as if the Cinderella’s time to stay at the ball was over, and walked out. Drove down home and at around 1.30am, slowly unlocked the first of the two entrance doors. Before I could even put the key into the hole, the door swung open with D standing there. I did not know whether to get angry or not. I still asked….

Why are you awake? I had told you that I would be late in coming home. Why don’t you ever listen to me?

I just couldn’t sleep.

I realized it was April One now…All Fool’s Day and here was a Fool Number One waiting endlessly.

Epilogue

I wonder why in all our stories since childhood they spoke about bad and evil creatures stepping out in the darkness of the night. These creatures would wait to pounce upon the good men and suck up their blood. In life I have been amazed by these night creatures instead who have stayed awake till I came back home in the deep of night. What kept them up in the cold winter’s night when all had shut themselves in the comfort of their homes; why do they stay up and awake when their bodies are failing just to get a glimpse of their hale and hearty sons walk into the house; to be waiting alone without any fuss just to make sure I returned home in good shape having driven late in the night after a long day ….it feels so blessed to be waited upon. I don’t like the hanging bats but I do love these Batmen and Batwomen in flesh and bones in my life.

SS