Ode to April Rains and Desires

 

I want to see the Northern lights

I want to watch the sun set on the Grand Canyon

I want to stand atop Machu Pichu

I want to cycle around Amsterdam

I want to walk the streets of Paris

I want to witness the Great Migration

I want to go to Pondicherry with my girls

I want to go for my best friend’s wedding

I want an April rain to come more often

I want to go home

I want to go home without a test

I want to go home without the fear of a false report

I want to breathe without a filter

I want to breathe without using up oxygen

I want to breathe without being conscious

I want to read Bombay Times

I want to read news without numbers

I want to read news, not new guidelines

I want to get a call from an old friend

I want to get a call, not a plea

I want to get a call that I can answer

I want to talk like ‘how are you’ is a formality

I want to laugh at memes without knowing they are true

I want to share a joke without the sliver of cynicism

I want to cut the bad and sew the good

I want to do what I was meant to do

I want to hold the scalpel, not the certificate

I want to sweat from exhaustion, not from a plastic suit

I want to treat, not test

I want to feel the thrill, not search for pulse

I want to give a hug, not face the hate

I want to deliver a drug, not drive a madness

I want to keep the coat white, not wager it in black

I want to ignore the scratch in my throat, it must be from screaming hoarse

I want to know if people heard me, or did the election rally drown it again

I want to see the coverings over nose and mouth, not blindfolds and blinkers

I want to fight what is wrong, not fail with it

I want to dream, not dread

I want to add to my bucket list, not scratch things out

I want to wait for new beginnings, not for an end

But I think I just want to confess

That I am guilty of wanting too much.

(The views expressed are not an individual's but of doctors around the country breaking down under the collapsing healthcare and gross misjudgement of priorities.)

MS

Khote Sikke

The year was 1695. Emperor Aurangzeb was still at the peak of his reign when a self-styled ‘Captain’ Avery captured Ganj-i-Siwa’i, the largest of the Mughal ships. The ship was on its way to Surat carrying not just worshippers returning from a pilgrimage to Mecca but five lakh gold and silver coins, which was the revenue from the sale of Indian goods in the Arab world. Avery first sailed with the hijacked ship to Madagascar and then to the West Indies. A couple of days ago, the Economic Times reported that a handful of the pirate bounty was found in a fruit orchard in rural US. The picture of the Emperor and his coins made me dip into my basket of coins and memories of Khote Sikke.

Since Shah Jahan had emptied the coffers with his opulent constructions all over and what remained was plundered by pirates like Avery, this collector was not left with any coin of the Mughal period. So I flipped the pages of history and found that the Marathas were the true successors of the Mughals with a pan-India presence. Till recently, I believed that I had a coin of the Great Marathas that would fetch me a fortune at the Sotheby’s. This coin is small and heavy and for long I could not read the text. One day, I used the old school tracing technique of putting a white paper on top of the coin and with a pencil rubbed the surface…..slowly the inscription became clear…..Shree Mahdavrao Ma Shinde. A coin of the royal family of Scindia’s! The coin has the emblem of the Gwalior royals in the centre with a cobra coiled above a crossed spear and trident within a circle of beads. Wikipedia also told me that Madho Rao Scindia ruled Gwalior from 1886 to 1925 but what intrigued me was the name taken by the royal scion of Scindias….Alija Bahadur, at a time when the Last Mughal had been deported to Rangoon and the British Empire ruled the country. Mr. Google knows everything so I checked the value of my prized possession and was sadly disappointed to know that it was worth no more than $20….Khota Sikka.

My pouch yielded me some more interesting coins and I shall limit myself to a few. The earliest coins of British India are of George V King Emperor of 1912, a quarter anna and 1916 silver one rupee coin and half rupee of 1946. I was overjoyed to find a one rupee coin minted in 1947 of independent India but the reverse side took away all my joy….there was George VI King Emperor who was still ruling. And, surprisingly, I have coins of newly independent state of Pakistan....1948. The one pice (not paise) coin of 1954 with a prancing stallion is the earliest independent Indian coin in my collection.

One Paise over the ages

Talking of independence, can you see the small coin in the picture above? This is a 1970 coin of Pakistan Sarkar written in Bangla. Bangladesh was not yet born and atrocities there drove millions of refugees into India. One such refugee was a young man in his twenties who had walked into India and managed to reach Calcutta. My father had requested another relative of his there to arrange for a train ticket for the person. Baba, Ma and the three of us went to the Old Delhi Station to receive our guest. He was Nepal da, my father’s nephew from Chittagong. He stayed with us for six months at a time marked with black outs and fears of Pakistani planes bombing Delhi. My mother would take Nepal da out to the markets where she would tell the vendors of the hardships my cousin had to face. Nationalism was at its peak and people readily gave discounts to the poor man on all purchases. My mother also went around her office and colony to collect funds for Nepal da, and when Bangladesh was born, he, reluctantly, went back to his homeland with something to start with. I now realize that it is funny how in one paragraph I have written about the whole sub-continent…India, Pakistan, Bangladesh and Nepal!

Ek Do Teen..

Continuing with 1971, in a government colony in Moti Bagh, a baraat was on its way to the shamianah erected in a playground nearby. There was an air of festivity all around and a group of young lads found their way into the inner circle of where the Jea Band was playing the evergreen tune of Come September and friends and family of the groom were dancing merrily. Someone in the crowd now started showering coins and the boys were waiting for this very moment. They stooped down to pick up every little coin that fell. This activity was fiercely fought by all who wanted a share of the loot. With some coins tightly clenched in my fist, I went home with an air of pride, having won a battle and expecting a hero’s welcome. Instead, I got a dressing down from my mother who explained that the money thrown was for beggars and not meant for me. She even admonished my father for having decided to send me to a Christian missionary school and wasting good money. Despite all the shouts and insults, I kept the coins tightly clenched in my fist….after all it was my hard earned money. When things settled down at home, I slipped under the bed and laid my loot on the floor….small coins of one paisa, two paise, three paise, five paise and one ten paise coin….that was enough to rent myself a couple of hours of bicycle from a nearby shop , much against the wishes of my father.

Attanni Chavanni

It feels nice to see these little coins which may be useless or khote now but used to be priceless in those days of old. I remember the yummy choley kulchas in school canteen would cost twenty-five paise only. Some of us would, on days when the pocket was empty, go to five friends asking for just ‘paanch paise’ claiming to be short by just that much and finally end up with the tasty treat totally funded by unknowing friends. Cold drinks, till much later, were a luxury and a soda bottle with a marble on top was the usual evening drink after a round of football. The fun of pushing the marble down, the sound of the fizz escaping and the sweet taste of the lemonade costing less than a rupee was simply heavenly. A sixty- five paise movie theatre ticket at Archana Cinema in Greater Kailash to watch Guns of Navarone was the fun of growing up when money wasn’t so expensive!

With the coming of the Euro, the European currencies like French Franc, Spanish Pesetas, German Deutsche Marks and Greek Drachma suddenly became khote sikkey. Just the Queen Elizabeth in the centre continues her reign uninterrupted.….Kal Bhi, Aaj Bhi.

And who can forget the 9 pm call of “Mitroooon” on 8^th Nov 2016…. when we were told that our hard earned money had turned black and khote while those who had the black got theirs converted to white and sacche! This was the Demon called Demonetization.

Twenty Twenty

And finally see the twenty paise coin of 1969 and a twenty rupee coin of 2020 lying side by side? The 1969 coin would have surely bought much more than the twenty rupee of today so I propose to the present government to re-introduce the old coin, not just for the value but for the logo in the centre which surely they will find very apt.

SS

Tandav

Standing with one foot on the ground and the other folded to his thigh, eyes closed, hands tightly clasped on his forehead in perfect obeisance, wearing a loin cloth just where it matters the most, the devotee keeps on chanting the Lord’s name for six long days and nights. At last, the Lord of Lords hears his prayers and decides to pay a visit to his bhakt. He is wearing his tiger skin, has a trishul in hand with a dumru attached at the top and a snake coiled round his neck, riding a big black beautiful bull, the Lord is there in person and says…

Bol beta, tujhe kya chahiye.

And the devotee, coming out of a trance, opens his eyes and utters the first wish that comes to his mind….

Prabhu, bachey huye jivan mein mohe virus banayyo!

The Lord is stunned. Having been used to giving riches and lives to his devotees, this indeed is a strange demand. But the Lord has a reputation to keep. He grants every wish anyone asks of him, after all as the Creator, Preserver and Destroyer, he can make anything happen.

Why do you ask for such a wish, vatsa?

Now with his feet firmly on the ground and having sipped some divine drink offered from the kamandulu of the Heavenly Father, the man starts breathing easy and speaks his heart out.

From the time I was born, it was firstly my parents, then teachers at school and college and still later my family and bosses at work, all have asked me to do only good things. Don’t tell lies, don’t steal money, don’t eat sweets, don’t do this, don’t do that…..everyone has just been ruling me by telling me what I should not do and how being good will in turn result in good for me. Now, they find it easier to even quote the scriptures to say, kaam karo par phal ki aasha mat karo…just keep working without expecting anything in return….how nice to listen to, isn’t it? I am tired of being the good Batman all my life, now I wish to play the role of the Joker.

Why should you bring such misery to people? The virus can unleash unstoppable problems to all in the world. The wishes I grant usually make the devotee happy and in turn he brings happiness to me sitting atop the clouds. How will granting of this boon be of any good to me?

Hey Ishwar, the world has become far too evil and men are no longer afraid of anything. They plunder at will, destroy lives and nature and have turned selfish and away from the right path. When I get unleashed, I am sure they will start their daily prayers….prayers for safety and survival. When I am going from place to place, the evil men will stop their nefarious activities as they will be locked indoors. The same people who now bash up doctors and nurses at the smallest pretext, will start respecting them. They will value love and family, they will start becoming believers and start caring for people and nature. I will cleanse this earth of much evil and put the fear of death and misery in their hearts for them to start believing in you, my Lord. So my becoming evil shall bring in a period darkness, and this is when faith shall reignite and the people will change for good.

Mmmm…sounds different and interesting and worth a try. But if given a second choice, vatsa, what would that be?

Bhagwaanji, ‘given’ shabd se yaad aaya….Bachey huey jivan mein  mohe Captain of Ever Given banayyo!

What is that and why would you want to become a captain when I can make you general or even an emperor? I must say, you have some strange requests, unheard of before.

O Lord, you have not heard about Ever Given? It is a huge container ship going from China to the Netherlands. She flies a Panama flag, is owned by a Japanese company, managed by a Taiwanese company with a huge number of desi Indian crew members and gets stuck in the sands of the Suez Canal in Egypt. Then there is a Dutch firm of salvors who try to float it again and an English firm of Average Adjusters. It is almost like the universe in one place.

Courtesy Internet

So why would you want to be the captain of an ill-fated ship when you could have asked me to make you the owner of the most luxurious yacht or commander of world’s largest aircraft carrier?

Just think of what I can achieve…I will bring the world shipping through the busiest route carrying 12% of global trade to a grinding halt. Every day it will cost the world over $9 billion. Logistics and scheduling will go haywire and trade will initially slow down. My counterparts, sailing on other ships, will simultaneously block the other navigation channels like the Panama Canal, Bosphoros Strait, Malacca Straits….trade on the high seas will then get stalled completely.

What good will this do to you?

Hey Devon ke Dev, when trade will stall, the rich and powerful economies of the world will come down on their knees and that is when I shall strike a deal with them.

And what deal will this be, may I know please?

I will negotiate a deal on insurance and marine Insurance in particular because that is what I have done in the last thirty three years of my existence.

Mmmm…what is this insurance?

Sirji, Bima….protection against any damage.

I am aware of only Bheema and he was the protector of the Padavas against any damage by Kauravas. Yeh Bima kya cheez hai, vatsa?

My Good Lord, I will explain the principles and practice of marine insurance at another time but for now you must listen to my demand that I shall lay before the world economies. “Go and correct the marine premium rates with immediate effect.” You see the rates currently are so cheap, it is almost free. The marine insurers are a group of people fighting for their survival but each one of them outdoing the other in being reckless and wild and then there are these insurance brokers and clients who make them dance to their tune. This demand, if met, would mean survival of this small breed of people called Marine Underwriters. But if the demand is not met, as Captain of Ever Given and my fellow captains across the seas, we will ensure our ships remain grounded in the sands and do not move an inch. Bada mazza ayega Bhagwaan.Samudra manthan ek baar phir hoga. If this change does not happen, there will be many more bloggers like me on the internet with nothing better to do.

The Lord of Lords gets furious and starts his Tandav…the cosmic dance….first slowly and then goes into a trance. The dumru starts playing to the tune, the trishul starts tapping on the floor in rhythm and the snake starts moving in a beautiful pose with its head held high and wrapping its slim body around the Lord. The bull also tries to take a leaf out of the dancing scene but just can’t keep pace or the poise. After a while the Lord speaks up aloud…

Are you testing me, vatsa? I am now getting angry at the requests you are making. Is there something normal you can ask and I can easily give? This is your third and last call. If this, too, is as weird, then you can stand on one leg for the rest of your life and I shall not return ever. Confuse kar diya tuney! Dimaag ka dahi ho gaya!!

Sorry Bhagwaan. Let me ask you one last time and this time I will not disappoint you.

Ok…Bolo beta!

Bachey huey jivan mein mohe corrupted EVM banayyo!

Dear Lord, I want you to help me tamper with all the EVMs in this country. Just in case you do not know what EVM is, it is the Electronic Voting Machines that are used to cast votes and elect people to the so called democratic institutions like Sansad, Vidhaan Sabha and Vidhan Parishads. With your help, I will make sure in all elections, no matter what button people press, the end result will be NOTA which would mean that None Of The Above candidates get the mandate.

This sounds doable but what will it serve.

Prabhu, most of the people in the election fray are liars, corrupt and work only to fill their own coffers and those of their near and dear ones. They manipulate the system to rule and serve no one but themselves. They make people fight one against the other and in the last seventy five years have done more plunder than the colonists did in the previous two hundred years. Look at the state we find our country today. No one can feel proud and happy where we have landed ourselves, thanks to this breed called Politicians. You may then counter me by asking, who will run the country. To that I want to state, this country runs on Bhagwaan bharose even now, it will be no worse. Just repeating what someone called the Mahatma, whom people of this country have forgotten or subject him to ridicule, said in 1942 while launching the Quit India Movement…

“Leave India to Gods. If this is too much, then leave her to anarchy.”

Tathastu, vatsa!

SS