Goat Tales

Serengeti in Northern Tanzania is a dangerous place on earth. Here Darwin’s theory of survival of the fittest is seen at every moment and in every inch of this gorgeous jungle land. An antelope has to run fast or else the lion will eat it up and the lion has to increase its running speed every day or else will go hungry and die. This is the home to the most ferocious animals including lions, cheetahs, leopards, wild dogs and hyenas. It is here that tourists like us throng to see the great migration of the wildebeest from Serengeti to Masai Mara in Kenya. In this migration, anything that comes in the animal way is trampled and crushed to death. In short, this is no place for weaklings and docile ones.

As I watch through my magnificent Nikon binoculars, the spectacle of the animal world and fauna in this beautiful part of the earth, I suddenly see a strange sight….. I train my eyes… can’t believe in what I am seeing so rub my glasses clean and look again…. Am I hallucinating?  I look at my fellow tourists in the open top jeep and their jaw dropping looks tell me that they too are bewildered at what they are seeing…. Four goats are walking freely and no one seems to be attacking them. Instead they are giving these four goats the right of way and standing aside. The elephants are raising their trunks and blowing their trumpets in full glory. The giraffes are standing on either side as if giving the goats a victory parade. The lions are keeping their distance and not coming close to the path these goats are treading and also keeping the wily hyenas away from harming the four friends.

As the goats come closer, the visibility gets better. I can now see the faces of the goats. The two at the back seem to have beards and the two in front do not even have a speck of hair on their faces… they are clean shaven. While three of the goats look slightly mature, one looks relatively young and impatient. He often runs ahead of the others and then returns to the flock. The goats are now not just walking but have a gait which looks more like the steps of a trained Flamenco dancer…. Each one of the four has the flexibility of a ballerina. The other animals now start offering the goats fruits. The two at the back are given a musk melon each. The two gracefully manoeuvre the fruit between their feet and dribble to the right and left and between the large herds of onlooking animals who exclaim with joy at this wonderful sight. One elephant throws a melon high in the air and one of the goats in the front of the pack jumps on his front two feet and reaches the height of the standing elephant and crashes his head on the melon breaking it into smithereens and spilling it over to the other animals who laugh and make a happy sound with the loud tapping of their feet. Balu, the bear, rolls another melon to the youngest goat in front and the youngster holds the fruit close to his feet and runs speedily throwing up mud all around and after a burst of almost a hundred metres, hits the melon with his right front foot. The melon suddenly bursts out like the volley from cannon on a galley. The melon travels hard and fast and I can see it approaching the place where we are watching this wonderful sight…. But before we can take cover, the melon crashes against out vehicle and all we hear is a huge bang… we almost fall off the jeep. Fortunately, we find ourselves safe and we get off the jeep and find a huge dent at the back of the vehicle as if it has been hit by a massive sledgehammer.

Having survived the melon attack, we go up the vehicle once more and cautiously stand up to see the movement of the goats. Now, even without the binoculars, we are able to see the drama unfolding. As the dancing goats move ahead, we see a convoy of camels and horses which seem laden with treasures, big and small, of gold and silver. I am pretty much bedazzled at this sight… what is happening? Who are these goats? Was I still mentally living in the times of the World Cup and seeing everything through the lens of the ball playing on the green fields. I put down the binoculars and see the goats passing by our vehicle with the convoy following them religiously.

I ask our driver and co-passengers to drive behind these magical goats but they refuse. It seems they have had enough of a crazy and unbelievable day and cannot stand it anymore. I get off the vehicle and start walking behind the convoy…. even running fast to get a better glimpse of the goats. The four, nonchalantly, keep moving ahead oblivious of any other soul right, left or centre. In some time, the four reach a huge structure which is shining brightly as sun’s ray’s fall on it. It looks like a huge dome with a big gate in front. The place looks  quite like a temple of old. There is a big, burly guard at the entrance who opens the gate even without asking any question, as if he is waiting for these goats to arrive. But the moment I try entering, he just says, No…no one but goats can enter here.

I am a journalist who writes in newspapers. Even your gods want us to write good things about them so you need to let me in.

Ok but no photography inside the temple please.

Ok. Thanks.

As I walk in, I see the four goats who have all gone inside the temple and are looking at the huge life like statues and pictures of the Champions of the Past….

Maradona with his locks of hair and fist raised in the sky…
Cruyff with his straight hair and slim body wrapped in orange….
Garrincha the dribbling genius….
Eusibio ,the Portuguese legend ,who almost singlehandedly took his country to victory…
Puskas the Magyar who is oft regarded as the most gifted player of all times…
Lev Yashin, the Russian goalkeeper was seen in a diving posture….
Zico, Zidane, Platini, George Best, Charlton…. You name it and they were there…The Gods of Football!

A man walks up to the goats and announces…. Hello. I am Franz Beckenbauer and I am the Master of Ceremonies here. We shall be examining your credentials first. How do you want me to start…alphabetically or age wise?

The youngest goat shouts…age wise and the youngest goes first.

Kylian  Mbappe

World Cup: 1 2018
Golden Boot: 1 2022
French Championship: 5
UEFA Championship: 1
French Cup Winner: 3
European Under 19 Winner: 1

At a young age of 24, you sure have achieved a lot and I am sure you will bring more glory to the game and your country in coming times. But I am denying you entry into the sanctum sanctorum now for this recognition has to be earned with consistent performance over many years. Wait for a few more years and I am sure your list of achievements will grow bigger than anyone in this hall. But, for now, the answer is not yet ready to be anointed.

The young goat sat down on the floor looking utterly dejected...what more do they expect of me?

Next, who wishes to come forward.

Forward…me…Ronaldo.

We already have one too many Ronaldos here. One is simply a Ronaldo and then there is one Ronaldiniho in the hall of fame. We can’t add another. It is getting very confusing.

No confusion. I am CR7… you can call me Christiano and here are my credentials. Don’t you dare keep me out of the game. I simply go mad. I want to be there, right up there forever!

Ballon d’Or: 5 times
Champions League, English Premier League, La Liga……..the list is unending.

You do have quite a list ,CR7. The only thing missing from your glittering showcase is possibly World Cup. Other than that, you’ve won everything. A very deserving candidate for sure. Please go and sit on the golden chair to the right there.

Ronaldo, in his typical style after scoring each of his thousand goals, jumps high, puts his fist together in an arch and then as he hits the ground, spreads his legs wide, chest out and arms stretched out as if saying….I am the Best! Oh yes, you are the Best!!

Now the third goat walks up to Franz and shows him his trophies and medals…

Luka Modric

Ballon D’Or: 1 2018
Champions League Winner: 5 times
La Liga: 3 times with Real Madrid
Player of the Year: 7 times
FIFA Best Player: 1 2018

You’ve been such a Champion for your country having taken them to World Cup Final and Semi-finals almost single-handedly. If you were born a Brazilian, French or German, you surely would have had a few World Cups in your closet. Your credentials are very impressive Luka but not enough for the place we are in. My apologies O Champion of the Balkans.

The last goat is sitting quietly, patiently waiting for his turn. As the goat is unloading the cups, trophies and medals, Franz comes over to say…. Not required dear Messi. We already have all the details and God himself awaits your arrival eagerly.

Can I just take this one piece of trophy that I finally won…? Just can’t let it out of my hands or sight…

Sure…you’ve earned it and deserve to keep it with you. How hard you’ve worked for it, how long you’ve waited for it, how many abuses over the years you have heard for it…. Now it is yours and yours alone. We shall make your statue here sleeping with the trophy…. It will be unique and a wonderful tribute to your legacy.

CR7 and Messi go into the inner room which is dark till they step in… it is immediately illuminated in the most beautiful ,colourful lights. The music begins to play a victorious tune. Inside they see a man on a large couch with thin tubes hanging all over his arms, legs and face. As they approach him, they can see that despite the pain, his smile is intact and his eyes are dark and welcoming…. He raises his arms and signals to them to come closer. As they go closer, the man takes out a sceptre from under his pillow and touches the two goats gently on their heads and Franz sprinkles rose water from a Persian sprinkler vase he has just picked up at Doha, Qatar.

I, Edson Arantes Do Nachimento or just Pele in short, with the authority vested in me by the people of the world, anoint you CR7 and Messi as GOATs…. The Greatest of All Times. Your place in history is now permanent and you will always find yourself in the company of the greatest players of each generation forever. This is what you have earned for yourself with all your brilliant work over the years and having entertained the world with your own brand of beautiful game.

Franz made an exception to the temple rules and lets me to take a picture of the two new full time GOATs. I take out my phone and click the GOATs, click the God himself, now old and infirm, and Franz, too, who is a GOAT himself. I see the inner sanctorum which has flags of all the countries the GOATs have represented and am surprised to see the Indian tricolour. My hand goes up instinctively in salute… Jai Hind…Bharat Mata ki Jai and I ask Franz…. What’s this doing here? I do not recollect any Indian having even qualified to be called a GOAT.

You see, this Temple of Gods is made by an Indian whose name I keep forgetting but it sounds like an Italian name. It starts with A and ends with I …. who knows someday we may see an Indian Professional League for Football and we may see an Indian in this pantheon of GOATs. If not that, then this one is for the innumerable crazy fans in India like the one below who never stop watching this beautiful game.

SS

PS. Pictures courtesy internet 

Joga Bonito

Never, if possible, cover any road a second time -Ibn Battuta

As the World Cup enters the knock-out phase, here are some sideline stories in this edition of the journey of the game for you.

Touchline: Balls2You

In…Out..In…Out….was the ball in or out. The referee went to the VAR screen and watched the replays, over and over again, for the fortunes of two nations were in question. He, finally, discussed the issue with the VAR backend team and did his usual screen signal to the players and crowd and, finally, put his hands together and pointed it to the centre of the field. You did not have to be a champion dumb charades player to understand that the final verdict was that the goal scored by Japan off a pass, in which it appeared as if the ball had crossed the line, was confirmed to be in play and had not gone out for a goal kick. Four different reactions were seen. Japanese players and fans went into an ecstasy, the Spanish players kept questioning the verdict and fans and German players, in another stadium, went into a state of complete depression and , to top it all, the spectators worldwide glued to the television sets went into a frenzied state of tweeting…In..Out…In…Out…Right…Wrong.

Later in the day, did a check of the International Football Association Book rulebook which said that a ball is defined as being out when “it has wholly passed over the goal line or touchline on the ground or in the air.” So while VAR showed on one side that the ball had indeed crossed the touchline on the ground, the bulge of the ball was still within the touchline in the air. So the referee was, indeed, right in awarding the goal to Japan which relegated Spain to second position in the qualifying group and knocked four times champions Germany out of the World Cup in the first round itself.

This brings me to the next question…what was Al Rihla doing when all this was happening? Al Rihla is the official football made by Adidas for the World Cup 22. In Arabic it means ‘The Journey’. The name is said to be a reference to a travelogue written in the 14^th century by Ibn Battuta who travelled extensively in Asia, Africa and Europe. Al Rihla has sensors that send ball data to the video operation room 500 times per second. There are 12 dedicated tracking cameras mounted underneath the roof of the stadium which tracks the ball and up to 29 data points of each individual player, 50 times per second, calculating their exact position. So I am sure the VAR would have proven to the referee the exact position and the decision which we can question seeing it with our naked eyes but technology proves it otherwise. Maybe, we will see robots playing in some future world cup matches or they may play Digital World Cup…. India stands a chance there for sure.

On a lighter note, if you’re wondering why Al Rihla, the traveller, sided with Japan, the only answer I could find was in a children’s poem where the two had a connect of old.

इब्न बतूता पहन के जूता

निकल पड़े तूफान में

थोड़ी हवा नाक में घुस गई

घुस गई थोड़ी कान में।

कभी नाक को कभी कान को

मलते इब्न बतूता

इसी बीच में निकल पड़ा

उनके पैरों का जूता।

उड़ते उड़ते जूता उनका

जा पहुंचा जापान में

इब्न बतूता खड़े रह गये

मोची की दुकान में

Exit Line: Please Don’t Go!

On 27^th June, 2016, Leo Messi declared to the world that he had decided to hang up his boots and end his days for the Argentine football team. His disappointment stemmed from having lost the World Cup in 2014 to Germany, losing to Chile both in 2015 Copa America Final and again in 2015 at the Copa America Centenario. Messi had by then won almost every major club tournament with Barcelona and had multiple Ballon d’ Or trophies in his cabinet but success at the national level eluded him. On that fateful night, when he himself missed a penalty, the emotions came through. “I tried my hardest. It has been four finals. I want more than anyone to win a title with the national team, but unfortunately, it did not happen. I think it is best for everyone, firstly for me and for a lot of people that wish this. The tea, has ended for me, a decision made.”

“Don’t go Messi!” There was huge outpouring from every Argentinian asking Messi to stay. Among the people who were shattered was a teenager, Enzo Fernandez, who wrote an emotional letter to Messi which read like this:

How are we going to convince you? How are we going to convince you? We never had 1% of the pressure that you have on your shoulders. You wake up in the morning, you look in the mirror and you know that a crowd of over 40 million people wants you to do the perfect thing and it has been ridiculously imposed that they can demand it.

How are we going to convince you? If we fail to understand that you are a human being, a person with incomparable talent, the best player on the planet, but a person after all.

How are we going to convince you? If we don’t stop for a moment to realise that you are not responsible for the anger that losing causes us, which often has more to do with our own frustrations that are reflected there. Let’s look in the mirror and ask ourselves if we demand from ourselves 1% of what we demand from this guy we don’t even know.

Do what you want, Lionel, but please think about staying. Stay and have fun….in a world of ridiculous pressures, they manage to get the most noble out of the game, the fun. Seeing you play with the light blue and white is the greatest pride in the world. Play for fun, because when you’re having fun, you have no idea how much fun we have. Thank you and forgive us.

After a week, Messi relented and reported that the Argentine no. 10 shirt and armband would still be worn by him. The game was saved and Messi has been playing for fun since then, enthralling his billions of fans globally.

Fast forward 2022, Qatar World Cup. Argentina had surprisingly lost their first match to Saudi Arabia and hence winning the remaining two matches was extremely critical. Argentina was playing an energetic and strong Mexico and were leading 1-0 through a wonderful strike by Messi in the 64^th minute. In the 87^th minute, Leo Messi deftly passed the ball to a 21-year-old player who curled the ball into the far corner of the goal, beyond the reach of the Mexican goalkeeper.  The youngster was none other than Enzo Fernandez who because the youngest player to score a World Cup goal for Argentina since Messi in 2006. The celebrations that followed were for all to see… Enzo was seen kissing his badge and was mobbed by none other than Messi in front of screaming Argentines. The master and the pupil together in one frame…a shot that will remain etched in everyone’s mid forever.

Life Line: Being Human

World Cup football is about heroes scoring fantastic goals, saving penalties and winning the trophy. But in all this humdrum of the glorious game, lies some moments of human character and spirit.

In 26^th of November 22, in a Group C match between Poland and Saudi Arabia in the Education City Stadium in Al Rayyan, Qatar, Piotr Zielinski scored the opening goal for Poland. Poitr plays for Napoli at Italy and is extremely talented as a player whom almost all clubs, like Manchester United and Liverpool, want on their teams. But there is more to him than just playing top class football.

Piotr’s parents used to help children from difficult backgrounds. They ran a foster home since 2015 but have been helping children from difficult backgrounds since 2022. For nearly 13 years, they looked after children in their home at Zabkowice Slaskie which was some 40 miles from Warsaw.  In the first months of his parents’ new work, Piotr could not accept it. He was eight and so jealous that he hated the fact that he had to share his room with strangers. He used to write his name on the toys so that people knew they were his. He would put tags on furniture like ‘my wardrobe’ and ‘my desk’.

Slowly, the young Piotr became friendly to his ‘temporary siblings’ and began opening up. He invited them to play football together. He often played in the yard with a boy who had a leg contracture. The true footballer gave his heart to children in his own way; quietly, without the attention of the media. Today, this 28-year-old Polish footballer has bought two buildings with his own money, renovated them and turned them into children’s homes run by “Peter Pan” foundation. Piotr is Peter in Polish.

The proud father of Poitr says that whenever his son returns to Poland, he visits the kids, plays football with them. He also gives away electronic equipment that he does not use: a laptop, a game console or a tablet. At a holy communion of one of the charges, no one from the family appeared. Poitr came from Italy to please the boy. “This is what he is”.

Last Line: Tail Piece

If anyone in India is mad about football, it is the insane people in the states of Kerala and West Bengal. The choice of teams these madmen support is clearly divided between Brasil and Argentina. A walk down the streets in even remote corners of these states will bring out the intense rivalry of the fans of these two Latin American countries. Arnab Ray, a columnist for TOI wrote about them as, “Begani shaadi mein Abdulla deewana.” He goes on the say this first love happens to be Argentina from the time he saw Maradona, “ giving the old colonial masters, the British, a hand and then a foot, the greatest goal ever to be seen….”So he promises to back the Argentines till the time they get eliminated and, thereafter, he will support Brazil. For me it has always been Brazil first. It started with the reverence for the name Pele, the first team to win the Jules Rimet Trophy thrice and make it their own and then of course it was the World Cup squad of 1982 led by Socrates which, to me, was the greatest team ever even though a lot from an earlier generation would claim the 1970 Brazillian team to be the greatest. Since then I have always backed them first and last. Surprisingly, the three jerseys at school, college and club teams I donned in my playing career, all had  the green and gold colours that are also part of the colours Brazil wears. Football to me will always be Joga Bonito, the Beautiful Game,  that the Boys from Brazil display every time they take to the field.

SS

Pictures: Courtesy Internet