I am
so thankful to my readers for they not only send me messages of appreciation;
some of them give me anecdotes and stories to work upon. One such story caught
my attention as I waited for my new Hanuman business cards to get printed.
I always
knew since childhood that Bajarangbali was a Bal Bhahmachari, someone who
remained bachelor forever. I was therefore stumped when this myth was broken! I
remembered the classic Hindi movie, Padosan,
where the hero, Bholey, a committed brahmachari, falls head over heels in
love with his saamne wali khidki mein
padosan and ends up marrying the damsel. Was this the case with our
original Superman Hanuman as well?
Hunamanji and Survachala at a temple in Khamam, Telengana
The
story goes that Hanumanji considered Surya Dev or the Sun God as his Guru who alone
is said to have command over nine sets of knowledge. Hanumanji wanted to master
all nine of these. Sun God was able to impart five of the nine pearls of wisdom
but for the remaining four, God himself was worried as these could only be
given to disciples who were married. In order to solve the problem, Sun God asked
Hanumanji to get married.
Initially,
Hanumaji refused but later relented and so the Sun God gave his own daughter
Survachala in marriage to Bajarangbali. Surya however told Hanumanji that
despite his marriage to Survachala, he would always remain bal brahmachari as his wife would take to meditation and lead the life
of an ascetic immediately after the wedding. By planning the marriage in this
fashion, God ensured Hanuman got all the nine supreme vidyas but maintained his vows of celibacy.
While
not getting to the issue of “married but not married”, I wonder what could have
been the four missing powerful wisdoms or knowledge that you acquire when you only
get married and not otherwise. The dirty mind of mine could initially think of
one such pearl of wisdom what Sage Vatsyayana
took such pains to describe and illustrate and became a legend forever. The unspeakable
truth surely for me would rate for me the top ranked wisdom. This was easy but
what could have been the other three that Lord Surya Dev would have imparted?
Patience
must be the foremost wisdom any married man ought to have. It is universal from
the comic strips of Hagar the Horrible to Leroy, the theme is quite constant
and similar. Every man must have the patience to listen to all that is thrown
at him, keep quiet and yet accept the fact the cause for all mistakes are his
and his alone. He must also go down on his knees to promise, ”I shall not do it
again!” yet end up repeating the same mistake and get reprimanded for doing,
and at times for not doing, things which his wife had told him or he ought to
have assumed she would have asked of him. So definitely patience must be his
number two wisdom that must be a married man’s religion or dharma.
Earning
money will also rank among the four missing values in bachelors. A married man
must earn more money than his married wife can possibly spend. He definitely
has to ensure the credit card is power packed and can buy Her Majesty anything
from a designer lehnga to a solitaire. And so the married man must learn how to
slog, beg and borrow but must surely ensure the bank balance is good and
adequate to satiate his wife’s unending demands. Arthashastra may have been
written in the 3rd century BC as a science on politics meant for the
king but for the married man artha – shastra is the art of homely politics of
survival and success and must surely be one of the missing wisdoms.
The Lockhorns by Bunny Hoest
Finally,
what could be the fourth and the last missing wisdom? To me it ought to be how
to achieve happiness. Does this sound all mixed up after all I said in the
previous paragraphs? I can say with much conviction, you can achieve much joy
in this relationship. Believe me, I have seen and heard many a bal brahamachari go loony and act funny
later on in life. Their strange behavior may possibly be attributable to them
leading a lonely life, with no one to temper them and with little
responsibility towards the family. Your wife and children are the cause of much
happiness and solace in life that the other carefree tribe cannot experience.
So for me, the bonds that hold me together as part of a family to care for and
to be cared for must rank as the supreme gift of being a married man.
And
as luck would have it, I walked into a Tanishq showroom where my Survachala
went scouting for the brighter stuff in the showcases, I opened up a colourful
book on Indian marriages and look what I find on one of the pages that did not
entice me to spend a fortune…
I
just hit the Bull’s eye or Saand ki Aankh for some….Kama, Dharma, Artha and Moksha…the
order may differ but they were all there. Wonder how I discovered the eternal
truths... thirty years of married life, I presume. Life has been my greatest
teacher and surely it must be for you too. Dig deep inside and answers will
flow out. You do not need to follow anyone in saffron with a beard. Seek within and thou shalt find.
Happy
Diwali
SS
