The Eternal Search

I am so thankful to my readers for they not only send me messages of appreciation; some of them give me anecdotes and stories to work upon. One such story caught my attention as I waited for my new Hanuman business cards to get printed.

I always knew since childhood that Bajarangbali was a Bal Bhahmachari, someone who remained bachelor forever. I was therefore stumped when this myth was broken! I remembered the classic Hindi movie, Padosan, where the hero, Bholey, a committed brahmachari, falls head over heels in love with his saamne wali khidki mein padosan and ends up marrying the damsel. Was this the case with our original Superman Hanuman as well?

Hunamanji and Survachala at a temple in Khamam, Telengana

The story goes that Hanumanji considered Surya Dev or the Sun God as his Guru who alone is said to have command over nine sets of knowledge. Hanumanji wanted to master all nine of these. Sun God was able to impart five of the nine pearls of wisdom but for the remaining four, God himself was worried as these could only be given to disciples who were married. In order to solve the problem, Sun God asked Hanumanji to get married.

Initially, Hanumaji refused but later relented and so the Sun God gave his own daughter Survachala in marriage to Bajarangbali. Surya however told Hanumanji that despite his marriage to Survachala, he would always remain bal brahmachari as his wife would take to meditation and lead the life of an ascetic immediately after the wedding. By planning the marriage in this fashion, God ensured Hanuman got all the nine supreme vidyas but maintained his vows of celibacy.

 Dennis the Menace by Hank Ketcham

While not getting to the issue of “married but not married”, I wonder what could have been the four missing powerful wisdoms or knowledge that you acquire when you only get married and not otherwise. The dirty mind of mine could initially think of one such pearl of wisdom what Sage  Vatsyayana took such pains to describe and illustrate and became a legend forever. The unspeakable truth surely for me would rate for me the top ranked wisdom. This was easy but what could have been the other three that Lord Surya Dev would have imparted?

Patience must be the foremost wisdom any married man ought to have. It is universal from the comic strips of Hagar the Horrible to Leroy, the theme is quite constant and similar. Every man must have the patience to listen to all that is thrown at him, keep quiet and yet accept the fact the cause for all mistakes are his and his alone. He must also go down on his knees to promise, ”I shall not do it again!” yet end up repeating the same mistake and get reprimanded for doing, and at times for not doing, things which his wife had told him or he ought to have assumed she would have asked of him. So definitely patience must be his number two wisdom that must be a married man’s religion or dharma.

 The Lockhorns by Bunny Hoest

Earning money will also rank among the four missing values in bachelors. A married man must earn more money than his married wife can possibly spend. He definitely has to ensure the credit card is power packed and can buy Her Majesty anything from a designer lehnga to a solitaire. And so the married man must learn how to slog, beg and borrow but must surely ensure the bank balance is good and adequate to satiate his wife’s unending demands. Arthashastra may have been written in the 3^rd century BC as a science on politics meant for the king but for the married man artha – shastra is the art of homely politics of survival and success and must surely be one of the missing wisdoms.

 The Lockhorns by Bunny Hoest

Finally, what could be the fourth and the last missing wisdom? To me it ought to be how to achieve happiness. Does this sound all mixed up after all I said in the previous paragraphs? I can say with much conviction, you can achieve much joy in this relationship. Believe me, I have seen and heard many a bal brahamachari go loony and act funny later on in life. Their strange behavior may possibly be attributable to them leading a lonely life, with no one to temper them and with little responsibility towards the family. Your wife and children are the cause of much happiness and solace in life that the other carefree tribe cannot experience. So for me, the bonds that hold me together as part of a family to care for and to be cared for must rank as the supreme gift of being a married man.

 Hagar the Horrible by Chris Browne

And as luck would have it, I walked into a Tanishq showroom where my Survachala went scouting for the brighter stuff in the showcases, I opened up a colourful book on Indian marriages and look what I find on one of the pages that did not entice me to spend a fortune…

I just hit the Bull’s eye or Saand ki Aankh for some….Kama, Dharma, Artha and Moksha…the order may differ but they were all there. Wonder how I discovered the eternal truths... thirty years of married life, I presume. Life has been my greatest teacher and surely it must be for you too. Dig deep inside and answers will flow out. You do not need to follow anyone in saffron with a beard. Seek within and thou shalt find.

Happy Diwali

SS