The Search for Truth

It all happened in a single day in Kolkata recently.

Early morning as I reached the gates of Tata Medical Center, Kolkata, I was taken around the beautiful complex spread over a large area with the most modern equipment handled by the most humane doctors and nurses who were tending to the patients round the clock. It was during this visit that I was taken to Premashraya which is a home where patients and their families are allowed to stay at a nominal cost of Rs 100 per day for their prolonged treatment. There is however a floor set aside in the building for palliative care patients which means these people are in the sunset of their lives with doctors having given up all hope. There are a few trained sisters who are stationed there and I met the lady who manages the floor. She walked with me and stopped at one of the doors that was ajar. There was an old lady on the bed and beside her were a few people, surely her relatives. My companion told me that, in all probability, today would be the last day for the woman on the bed. I just stood still for about fifteen seconds, looked inside again and then looked at the sister beside me who, by now, had her eyes soft and moist. The person who said that death either comes early or late may not have seen this sick woman and her family who knew that today, the 8^th of December would be her last.

My next stop was at Ramakrishna Mission Shilpapitha, Belghoria. This is a poly technique institute, where children of underprivileged sections are imparted training and are made ready in various technical skills which help them get jobs in manufacturing factories. Students from this institute every year find themselves employment at reputed places like Tata Steel and Tata Motors. What caught my attention were the beautifully kept campus and the discipline with which the students and the teachers were doing their work, which was very unlike most educational institutions today. The head of the institute is a monk or Swamiji as he is addressed by all. Swamiji is full of life and energy and takes great pride in showing me around the campus and sharing an excellent meal with me. While talking to him got to know that Swamiji himself happens to be a B.Tech from Jadavpur University and later did his masters from Indian Statistical Institute, Kolkata. After completing his program, he went to work with Cisco at the United States.  After working there for two years, he felt a calling and he returned to India and decided to take to the life of a monk in the Ramakrishna Mission Order. Today, Swamiji, apart from running the Shilpapitha well, has another important task that he has been doing for many years now- he goes from one corporate to another, one affluent individual to another collecting funds for the institute. The monies collected go into buying equipments for the various labs where students practise and get ready for the real world ahead. Swamiji’s energy shows no let down over the years that I have seen him as he collects the alms for the cause he strongly believes in. Happy to have met the Monk who sold his Ferrari.

In the evening I went to my aunt’s house. She is about 95 years old and happens to be my mother’s sister. Since my visit to the city happened after nearly 3 years, she is almost in tears as she sees me. While I try my best to touch her feet, she just won’t let go of me from her frail hug. She is, today, unable to walk properly and keeps repeating the same things over and over again. I spend some time with her and, repeatedly, she says that she has no desire to live anymore. Why doesn’t the Creator call for her? She would happily go away on the last journey. With age comes inability to do her simple daily chores and for a person who I have seen as being most active, whether it was travelling to every tourist place in India multiple times or ensuring well-being of the family members and relatives, buying gifts for all and then in her free time going to supervise a nearby library and then annually raise funds for a few good trusts….you could count on her for anything. But today she seeks death, seeks end to loneliness and misery, an end to sleepless nights and waiting for someone to help her for the smallest of things. She, who gave up her entire life to ensure that the younger brothers and sisters were taken care of, today is at crossroad of life awaiting death.

From my aunt’s place I finally returned to my hotel room when I spoke to my wife. But before I could tell her the day’s proceedings she informed me that there had been a death in the housing society we lived in at Mumbai. The deceased was an old doctor who we liked very much. He was in his eighties and had been suffering lately. He used to be a man of good taste who would dress up neatly and talk very softly. He would go out for an evening stroll in the society garden where a number of old men would get together and have their quota of fun. My wife said that the man had turned very frail and turned dark. He was wrapped in a crumpled bed sheet and the ambulance boys took him away on a stretcher. As I put down the phone, I could visualize the old man’s smiling face. Did he die a contented man seeing his son turn to a doctor just like him, seeing his grandson grow into a tall and handsome lad or he too had his share of unfinished dreams, hopes and aspiration….no one will ever know as he went for his heavenly reunion with his wife.

It had been a hectic day so I decided to hit the bed early. Lying on the soft hotel bed I was suddenly hit by a realization about the sightings of the day- an old man, a sick man, a dead man and a monk. Were these not the same things Prince Siddharth of Kapilavastu saw which turned his life and he became Lord Buddha? Yes, they were. Were these signals mere coincidences or signals for me to renounce the worldly order and seek the Truth of Life? At that moment remembered the Four Noble Truths Lord Buddha spoke about under the Bodhi Tree and despite centuries having passed, the Truths seem truly universal and timeless. The Lord said:

The world is full of sorrow.

The cause for sorrow is desire.

Desire must be conquered to attain Nirvana.

It can be conquered by following the Eight Fold Pathwhich is the righteous way of living.

Living that night alone in a hotel room 2000 kms away from home, I dozed off for a while but woke up very early at around 5.30am decided to walk out….a walk in the woods….not really but in the darkness of the winter morning, the trees on both sides of Red Road appeared no less than the forest. The walk took me to the historic Victoria Memorial where I bought a ticket for a morning walk around the beautiful monument. Had never seen the monument from so close before that day and found it no less an iconic structure than the Taj Mahal and I am not exaggerating. The intricate marble carvings, the majestic dome and the exquisitely kept garden with lakes around makes it a must see place. In the garden were some huge banyan trees where I could have sat down, closed my eyes and meditated but then I saw a huge statue of Queen Victoria sitting on a throne perched up on a pedestal. Seeing the crows sitting all over her and dirtying her made me give up any desire to sit under any tree to attain Nirvana.

I just will not be able to give up my family and give up on my desires. I walked back to my hotel room but not before giving some of my desires a new lease of life by eating nan-puri at 6.30am in the morning, when not truly hungry, from a street vendor who had just started frying the puris in a vessel full of boiling oil; walking into an empty ATM and pulling out two 2000 Rupee notes even though I had no need for more cash and then taking a leisurely bath in a huge tub filled with warm water. 

Next was my morning agenda for the 9^th of December included going to a school run by government for girls at Ultadanga where there was the annual kit distribution ceremony to be done on behalf of the NGO we work with. The Nanhi Kalis sang and danced before us and brought a smile on our faces that I got reminded of the famous quote by Gurudev Rabindranath Tagore where he said with every child born the Creator sends out a signal that he is not all upset with the world he has created and there is hope for the future as well. I had come a long way from yesterday’s renunciation into the worldly ways today of children and hope for mankind.

The world is truly full of sorrows and yes the cause for sorrow is almost at all times our desires. Both the Noble Truths I accept completely. However the next Truth is the one which is most difficult to follow- conquering desires. And since I have failed to conquer desires, I shall remain in my earthly abode in blood and muscles ready to face sorrow at every turn. However, nothing stops me from still following the Eight Fold Path of Right Views, Right Thought, Right Speech, Right Conduct, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness and Right Meditation. Nirvana or No Nirvana, Karma or No Karma but surely we can all live the right way and make this abode beautiful and a happy place for you and me.

Buddhang Sharanam Gachhami…

SS

PS.The last picture is from the movie 'Bucket List' staring Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson