Billu

Every Sunday morning, for the last few months, I would see him stand there next to his shop. He would always give me a knowing and a welcoming smile. Since the time lockdown had been enforced, his shop had its shutter down and a big lock hanging outside. My hair kept growing by the day and a couple of attempts by my wife to level the grass sprouting from behind the ears, growing wildly from behind and flying everywhere as the wind blew on a shampoo day, met with little success. My lady loves her Amazon escapades and told me about the numerous trimmers available online including the one being used by Indian Cricket Team Captain Virat Kohli. But I brushed aside her requests saying, “I shall not buy anything that will put my man, who has served me so well for over fifteen years, out of work. He is there waiting for the day when things will normalize and his shop will re-open and I am also waiting for the day when I shall sit on the high chair like a monarch wrapped in a cover with SRK printed on it, looking at myself in the huge mirror in front while my hair was getting clipped neatly.”

One day Billu took the courage to say,” Sir, please get a piece of cloth from home. We can enter the shop from the rear entrance and I shall cut your hair. A lot of people are doing it and there is nothing to worry.” I smiled back at him and wondered at the Indian jugaad at practice in my backyard. The good Citizen Kane in me said, “No, not now. We have waited long enough and I am sure things will get better soon and then when officially your shop opens, I shall surely come. Till then I shall keep growing my hair.” But before leaving, I put a Rs 500 currency note in his hand and told him this would be my advance payment for the first hair cut soon. Billu smiled and put the money in his front shirt pocket.

Another couple of months passed and the government officially allowed barber shops to be opened. I was looking forward to the day for now I had started looking like Edgar Rice Burroughs’ hero swinging from the vines in the jungles of Africa crying out aloud…Kreeegah Tarzan Bundolo…I was told that personal hygiene was the most important thing in times of the pandemic so I should consider going to a Cutz and Curlz or Mr.Khan’s exquisite salon where the people styling your hair would be in PPE kits and you may be rinsed in sanitizers and disinfectants. “No! No means No.” Just the way Bachchan said in Pink. I shall go to my old faithful Anupam Hair Dressar” Yes, the spelling on the shop’s board outside is phonetically correct and I quite like it. So armed with an old bed sheet under my armpit, a mask on my face and a pair of gloves covering my hands, off I went to the Billu’s small simple shop on SV Road.

As I opened the door, Billu asked me to wait as one customer was being attended to. After hanging out for some time, I was ushered in. “Saab, pehle naashta kar loon? (Sir, shall I eat my breakfast first?), he asked. “Yes, of course.” I sat down in one corner as Billu took out a small packet of ParleG biscuits and ate them one by one with a small glass of water by his side. Wondered if this is all our man has for breakfast? He then washed his hands well, put on a fresh pair of gloves and asked me to take to the elevated throne. Billu took out his tools…scissors, trimmer, combs and blade on which he sprayed a round of sanitizer and got to work. He wrapped my bed sheet around me well, positioned my head straight and sprayed my head with a sprinkle of water from a small sprayer… this first portion of hair cut was always enjoyable to me….the cool water possibly calmed the nerves of the person waiting for the head to be chopped off on the guillotine table.

I started flipping through a year old edition of Filmfare and Billu got busy with his work. His hands started working like a skilled craftsman  and while working on my head he started talking…”Yeh Kaliyug hai Saab. This is the effect of the Kaliyug or the Age of Kali or the age of discord, dissent, strife and all things bad. Whatever is happening to this world is all because of this people’s greed and materialism and all things evil.”

I looked at him with surprise. This was a new theory to me about the rise and spread of Covid.

Billu continued to explain. “Sir, just see the elders would tell us about the Kaliyug and asked us to beware of such times. They said, adharma will prevail, people will be fighting against each other, sin will increase exponentially, people will be addicted to drugs and drinks, people will act as if they are gods, fake ideologies would spread and many diseases will take control.”

Hmmm….there was no doubt much truth in Billu’s theory.

As Billu moved from cutting the hair at the back of my head to the front, he went on talking. “Saab ek kahani sunata hoon (Sir, I will tell you a story). There were ten people walking through a dense forest. Suddenly the weather became bad and there was lightning flashing dangerously close to the people. The folks got together and came to the conclusion that one among them was cursed and because of him they were all suffering. To find out who this person was, they would ask each one of them to stand next to a tree and if the lightning were to strike on the person there, he alone would perish and others would survive. One by one nine of them stood but the lightning fell elsewhere and they were all relieved. The tenth man was mortified and reluctantly went up and stood next to the tree waiting for the lightning to strike which did so with loud noise and illumination nearby. The tenth man near the tree survived but the other nine standing at a distance waiting to see his fate all perished as the lightning had fallen on them instead.”

“This is truly Kaliyug Saab and cleansing of the sullied and villainous earth is happening now. Only a few good people will survive. Maybe, just one in ten.”

By now Billu had done with my hair and was giving me a quick complimentary Champi or a head massage. He knew I enjoyed this part of my monthly sittings and often I would ask him to give me an oil massage, but it was not to be this day. My man had got me into thinking beyond the search for vaccine and economic recession. What Billu said made sense even though difficult to prove scientifically but science anyway seemed to have failed for now in bringing down the growth of this cursed illness. To divert my attention, I asked him about his family and how he had made it through the tough times.

“Sir, in the initial few months, it was manageable with the little savings I had done but as the lockdown went on, it became more and more difficult. But thanks to a few old time customers who gave me ration and some money, I could survive.  Now things are getting better but even on weekends we get half the customers we used to before the pandemic. Seems many people have taken to doing it themselves, some have taken to the Urban Clap way of home service and the more affluent have moved to the stylish expensive salons. My wife does not have any work now and my daughter of eight years is off her school and books all this time. Praying and hoping for things to get better.”

Billu’s usual hair cutting charges were hundred rupees to which I usually added another twenty for his good services. So today before leaving home, I carried a hundred and three tenners in my pocket for him apart from a couple of five hundred rupee note for the next door grocery shop where I needed to pick up some other things. After hearing the man’s story, I dipped into my pocket and pulled out everything there and put it in Billu’s outstretched palm….”Happy Diwali….Beti aur biwi ko mithai khila dena”….and walked out without waiting to see his reaction.

Kaliyug must end and we can all play a part in its demise with very tiny deeds of kindness and love.

SS