Hayya Hayya

The flight landed at Doha International Airport. The plane was beautifully decorated with pictures of the great man and his team mates in their traditional blue and white. All the journalists were waiting to catch a glimpse of the GOAT. The fans were playing the drums and dancing on the tarmac. They were all waiting for the man of the moment who would brighten up the championship with his magical play and take home the biggest prize on planet earth.  The door opened and one by one the players came walking down, waving their hands to the people gathered. One…two…three…thirteen fourteen fifteen….yet there was no sign. The coach and his support staff members also came down the stairs and boarded the bus to go to the terminal building but there was still no sign. Where was he if not here?

Somewhere in Rub al Khali desert in Saudi Arabia, a camel is seen walking across one of the world’s driest regions of the world with sand dunes, sabakhs (salt flats) and sand sheets. It has hardly any vegetation and habitation but beneath it lies one of the biggest oil reserves. Atop the camel, a diminutive figure is seen sitting and trying to converse with the only living creature around.

Courtesy: Internet

Can we move a little faster?

No. My best speed is twenty-five kilometres per hour but my master has told me to go no more than ten per hour. This is for your own safety and comfort.

But I have a match to play today. I just cannot miss the same.

You should have known it when you accepted the invitation.

You know about the invitation?

Anything that happens in the desert, I have my friends who inform me. After all I am the royal camel who is respected by one and all. Anyway, how was the shoot?

They wanted me to be the brand ambassador for Saudi Tourism and I agreed. The money was good.

Courtesy: Internet

Ya, for sure. The loaded cars following us are a proof of how much the Sultan has given you for the modelling. No wonder the Spanish tax authorities are on a wild goose chase when it comes to Neymar and you.

I am thirsty.

I am not…..

You must have stored it in your humps.

That’s a wrong notion Mr. Goat and you may know a lot about playing football but nothing when it comes to camels. We do not store water in our humps. The hump stores fat and we use it for nourishment when food is scarce. We can go a long time without water. We drink up to twenty gallons of water when we find it and then it is stored in our bloodstream.

How far are we from the Lusail Stadium? The match starts at 1pm.

Don’t worry. I will reach you on time. You can save some time by getting ready for the match. The team kit and your famous number 10 jersey and Adidas X Speedportal boots are there in the pocket of the carpet you are sitting on.

Thanks O Royal Mount but can we go a little faster…. You see I have to play. Can I not drive in one of these eighteen Rolls Royce’s following us. Surely the horse power will be much more and I will reach well in time.

Don’t mess with me Mr. Messi! In the desert if you praise a horse before a camel and that too the Royal Mount of the Sultan, all I need to do is to whistle aloud and the Bedouins will come charging from behind the mountains in no time. And you know what they do to the captives. So shut up and let me do my duty.

The GOAT atop a Camel sat quietly, desperately trying to reach his team mates over the phone but it seemed there was no signal in the desert. The only satellite phone available was a direct connect to the Sultan of Arabia who did not understand a word of Spanish. The sun was beating down and our man covered his head with the keffiyeh or the red and white scarf in one of the many pockets of his silken carpet he sat on.

Slowly the convoy made its entry into Qatar where the border guards quickly recognized the GOAT.

Autograph please….photograph please….

Guys, I am getting late for the match. I promise I will do all the autographs and photographs after the match.

You don’t have passport. You don’t have Hayya Card. Then there is no entry for you.

I have my passport but what is this Hayya Card?

Hayya Card is the entry permit to Qatar for the World Cup. No Hayya then say Bayya to Qatar.

Ok I will do all the photographs and autographs…. Then will you let me go…

Of course, Messi…anything for the Greatest Footballer of All Time.

Messi managed the situation well and got atop his Royal Mount….he looked at his watch… still thirty minutes to go for the match….. Giddy up….let us now speed up to Lusail…

Yeah…lightning speed Boss for you.

The camel speeded up to over thirty kilometres per hour, much faster than the average speed of the Ship of the Desert. With the convoy of RRs following, the Royal Mount dropped off Messi in front of the magnificent stadium which looked like a huge bowl, intricately carved and shaped.

Messi got off the mount and started running into the stadium when the sturdy guards caught him…. You can’t enter the stadium like that. No ticket, no entry.

I am a player and I do not need to buy tickets.

Player coming on a camel with a keffiyeh on his head…. Which team do you represent?

Messi took off his head scarf and shouted….. I am Messi…Lionel Messi of Argentina. I am supposed to be playing in the match today against Saudi Arabia.

The team has already taken to the field and the national anthems are being played.

Messi put his one hand on chest where the logo of AFL was and one hand held high as a mark of salute as he started singing:

Oíd, mortales, el gritosagrado:
"¡Libertad! ¡Libertad! ¡Libertad!"

(Hear, mortals, the sacred cry:
"Freedom! Freedom! Freedom!")

The guard recognised the GOAT and exclaimed…. Allah… if you are Messi then who is there on the pitch wearing your shirt?

Messi put his palm on his forehead and then took out his phone, showed the guard a picture of an aging and balding man… is this the man who is playing as Messi….

Yes…yes… that’s the man. But he had all your papers.

Can’t you see, he has Messi written in front of his T-shirt while I always have it at the back! That’s an Indian fan of mine to whom I had shared some of my papers. He has used them to get into the stadium and the team and is now playing in blue and white of Argentina.

The man told me that another man who is his look alike will come. I should give him this ticket and ask him to see the match from the stands. He has also left behind a bag of goodies….Fanta and Coke bottles without the caps, a packet of chips, some dates and Gaz. You can use this to watch the match. That’s the best you can do now.

Messi took the ticket in his hand, went up the starts and just managed to reach his allotted seat when the kick off happened. He sat with the fans watching his team go down 2-1. All the time he was seething with anger at the Sultan of Arabia and his body double on the pitch. He even had the audacity to score a penalty goal.

After the match, Messi came down to the place where the Royal Mount sat. The camel smiled at the Goat as if he knew the results even before the match had started. Then there was a huge commotion as the Saudi team was cheered out of the stadium and they all came to the place Messi and the camel were waiting. Each one of the sixteen players took to the seat behind the wheels of the RRs. The coach also took one of the cars. Then there was another person who did not look like a player also got to sit in the magnificent Rolls Royce Phantom.

Who’s this last man?

The camel replied….Mr. Varkey…. He was the referee for the match today. He played an important role in today’s match.

What was his role…

You will see in tomorrow’s newspapers tomorrow how VAR (Video Assistant Referee) made sure the Argentine goals were denied…that’s our friendly Mallu Mr VARkey…. The secret key to our success. He too had to be rewarded!

In the end the body double of Messi came out and he walked to the Royal Mount, climbed atop and waved bye to the GOAT.

Play well mate in the next two matches and beat Mexico and Poland. I’ll be cheering for you.

SS

PS. World Cup is Frenzy, World Cup is Fun…. This one is jesting around and spreading cheer all around.