Dance of Demos

Wake up, you idiot…how much longer will you sleep?

I opened my eyes a wee bit and said, It is still dark outside. Why are you waking me up now?

You need to wake up early, take your bath, say your morning prayers, wear a fresh set of clothes and eat a healthy breakfast.

But why? Don’t you know that I am no longer in service and do not need to go to office. I am my own king now.

You idiot, this is not about you being a king. It is you, who will decide the fate of the next king.

This is getting out of control and who the hell are you to tell me what I am supposed to do. I have not given this authority to anyone except my better half and even she never wakes me up nowadays. I opened my eyes fully and saw someone sitting on my side of the bed wearing strange set of clothes. He appeared to have a flute in one hand and a peacock feather tucked on this forehead. It did not take me long to recognize and I quickly straightened my back and sat up.

God Bhai…how come you are here today and I have not understood why you are waking me up when it is only 4am now.

Don’t you know what date it is today?

Yes, I know… when I slept, it was 19^th of May so today has to be 20^th of May and I do not remember anything special happened on this day for me to get ready to go to a temple and start saying my prayers in reverence.

Arrey, you thankless fool. How can you forget that today is the day you are to go out and cast your vote and fulfill your duty as a proud and responsible citizen of this glorious country.

Ha ha…what a joke God Bhai. I am not voting this time.

May I ask you why?

You see, the candidates for most of the parties have multiple police records and you want me to choose between who has the lesser number of cases or whose crimes are less heinous?

I thought you would not pay much heed to such trivial matters especially after having worked in insurance industry all your life. Don’t you always say that only those who work hard and sincerely will have audit queries against their names. Those who don’t work, they will never have such issues. The police cases for politicians are like your audit blots on you. Because they work for the welfare of the people, those against them will file police complaints to stall them from doing good work. So you must actually check who has more cases against his name to choose the right candidate.

Dear God Bhai, how do you expect me to vote for people who have not even done their matriculation? These illiterates have been ruling the country and no wonder they never pay any heed to education which has gone to the dogs completely.

Do you remember the school debate you participated in where the topic you spoke for the motion was, “Education is an impediment to progress”? You spoke with such passion and credibility and landed yourself the best speaker prize. You had convinced the judges by stating that those who are highly literate and educated, they never dare to challenge the existing order which leads to impasse and subsequent decay. These politicians embody the spirit of new dynamic India which is on the move. Standard certifications and curriculum would have made them boring and stagnant. Moreover, you need to tell me what good has your education in school and college done. All that you learnt in Algebra and Trigonometry are a waste…all the Rise of Modern West and Opium Wars chapters in history are of what use?  Anyway, with the new syllabus and theories on Indian History, your graduation and post-graduation degrees are already questionable as the texts and tutorials you did have now been all been proven to be complete trash. So young man, just do as I say…Vote karo!

I am not convinced God Bhai with your arguments. These people who seek our votes are like ghosts who appear and then vanish into thin air afterwards. Most of them are not seen till the next elections and the winners are rarely seen taking up any worthwhile issues in the parliament. All they do is thump the desk or walk out. In short, all that they promise is never fulfilled. I am, in fact, reminded of a forward on FB that went like this:

A male mosquito tells his wife: Darling I will hunt a lion for you. The female mosquito says… Ok, fine. Just go to sleep. Male mosquito now says that I will bite an elephant and bring his blood to you. The wife sleepily says…Sure love, now go to sleep. The male mosquito keeps promising to his partner many things and finally says, Honey, I’ll do anything for you. The infuriated female now shouts back and said, you silly @#$@#$...how many times have I told you not to come home after biting a politician.

Ha ha…good one and pretty apt. But this is the situation all over the world. Politicians do lie and lie a lot more during elections but they also do some good. Can you say that there has been no improvement in your life or amenities that have made your lifestyle better? You should thank the politicians for that.

Someone said that thanking a politician for the roads and bridges is like thanking the ATM machine for giving you your money. After getting taxed nearly fifty percent of my hard earned money, all the politicians end up doing is giving away things as free from rations to bus rides. None of them comes back with a report card or an expense account statement and tells me what happened to all the monies I paid. So please let me sleep well and spend the day watching some nice K-series or a Malayalam movie. That gives me pleasure as against going out in the blazing sun, waiting in a serpentine queue and then pressing some button, not knowing who is controlling the boxes.

If you have so much problem with the politicians, why don’t you jump into the fray and bring about a change. It is no point cribbing and being critical of the situation. You should take the plunge and do good to the country.

That’s a good one, God Bhai. Everyone knows that you are the biggest politician, right from the days of Mahabharata till date. You know about everyone, you control everything and yet you are wanting to give up your work for now these people are beyond your chakravyu? Not me, dear God, it is you who could have ensured order and good life for people. Yet you chose to ignore and let these people take the gullible populace for a ride, year after year, election after election. We now have a world where the poor are very poor and the rich are very rich and a majority of politicians are now the new gods on land. How come you do not set these people right? You could have ensured peace, honesty and happiness on the planet but you chose to shut your eyes to all that is wrong.

Oh, now the blame is on me! Yes, I control the universe but I also let people do their part, be it good or evil. But you must remember that if there were no evil, there would be no God. Who would pray and seek redemption and salvation if all were living a peaceful and happy life…None! We can go on with this argument indefinitely but there is one more choice that you have. Go out there and press the NOTA button which will give a message to the people and politicians that none of the candidates are coming up to your expectations and you are giving them a thumbs down sign.

That is not a bad idea. I did consider the same but it seems they only put the indelible ink on the index finger. If they allowed the NOTA voters to put it on their middle finger, I would happily vote and send out my message strongly in the social media. I am sure a lot many like me would be willing to do the same. It is possible that by the next elections, the NOTA is the biggest vote bank that forces the politicians to think and do a course correction. Since, you seem to be so interested in my country’s elections, why don’t you go out and vote for me.

How can I? it is your name on the voters’ list and only you can cast your vote.

Here, take my voter card and vote on my behalf. The poll officials will never be able to detect the difference. Look at this voter ID of mine… I am certain my parents would have sought for a DNA check to get a confirmation that I am truly their biological son! The same is with my PAN, Aadhar and Driver’s license. And then you are the biggest bahuroopi….you can  turn day into night in the blink of an eye…ha ha!

Now that you have woken me up completely, one last question to you God Bhai…why are the elections called the Dance of Democracy.

That’s easy. The politicians with their musical instrument called been or pungi are the charmers. The snake dancing to the tune are the issues and causes they espouse. The hordes of people watching the show in a state of hypnosis are the demos or the people. It is not the snake that is actually swaying but this crowd unknowingly which is dancing to every move the charmer and the snake are making. Finally, at the end of the show, the charmer politician packs the issues and causes into a case along with all the money that comes from the thrilled crowds and vanishes only to appear again after years at the same spot.

Is that the reason you too have a flute always in one hand and a chakra that keeps going round and round hypnotizing the gullible public. They keep expecting more from you and you vanish after a quick darshan here and there.

Ha ha…good comparison my friend. Time for me to ‘vanish’ as you put it and for you to listen to Sachin Tendulkar’s AI generated voice, which is nowhere close to his own, asking you to cast your valuable vote.

SS