In Conversation

Late in the night in a small bar in Mumbai, there sat a man in a corner table with a bottle and a glass, both of which were nearly empty.  The lights had been put out and all the customers had left. The door was half closed as he slowly sipped the liquor, with eyes almost shut. The radio was playing some old Hindi songs when the door opened ajar. The light shone so bright that the man inside the bar covered his eyes with his hands. It was the brightest light ever he had seen and, as he lifted his hands over his eyes, he saw a man walking in. He shouted….. “The bar is closed. I will lock it up in some time. Find yourself another place.”

The intruder seemed deaf to what was being said and continued walking towards the drunken man after closing the door behind him.

I said the bar is closed. No more service for today.

The new comer just smiled and pulled up a chair and sat at the same table. Surprisingly, despite there being no illumination inside, the man’s face was glowing. He was wearing regular clothes, of average height and build, but there was something special about his looks, especially his eyes.

Bhai, if you are the police, let me tell you that sales are really down nowadays. Only a handful land up and, with no music and dance being allowed, I have nothing to give you.

I have not come to take anything from you. I was just passing by and entered your place. Every night I move around and meet people, talk to them and see if I can help them.

You help anyone? Then you must be God. And if you are God, you have come to the wrong address for this is a den of vice and is no place for you to be around. Bol Bhagwaan hai kya?

Yes, I am.

Gangu stood up, folded his hands, and bent his back…. “Bhagwaanji, I may appear to be drunk but I am not mad. Yes I have had a glass too many but I am not an idiot. But if you are really God as you claim to be, then prove it. Keep filling my glass from this empty bottle as long as you talk with me.”

Tathastu…so be it.

Gangu found the glass in his hand feel heavy and, as he looked down, he found it full to the brim. He put the glass down and rubbed his eyes hard, opened his eyes wide open and looked at the visitor in amazement.

Ok, then let me, for now, believe that you are God as you are fulfilling my deepest desire now. There is a question that has been troubling me for long and would like you to help me understand the true meaning of it. Hope you will not mind my asking you.

Yes of course.

When in school, I read a song by Kabir. I just mugged it up and reproduced it in the exam without understanding it. Then later in life, I heard the famous singer, Bhimsen Joshi sing the song at a music conference at Shivaji Park and I kept humming it for a few days. I liked his booming voice but when I tried understanding the words, I got confused. I never forgot about it and when I started my restaurant cum bar, I named it Moko TP Bar. These Mumbaikars thronged my place as they thought that TP stood for Time Pass but that was not the true meaning.  The song goes like this….

Gangu in his classical style touched  his ear lobe in respect to the Guru, possibly  Bhimsen Joshi, raised  one hand skywards and started singing aloud….

Moko kahan dhoondhere bande, main toh tere pass hoon

Na teerath mein, na moorat mein, na ekant niwas mein

Na mandir mein, na masjid mein, na Kabe Kailas mein

Main toh tere paas mein bande, main toh tere pass mein.

Gangu completed the song in one go and the visitor listened with rapt attention and clapped his hands in ovation.

So, now, you would have understood how I named my place…Moko Tere Pass Bar. If anyone else were to come to know of this secret, my business will completely wind up. So my big question to you is, if you…God… are within me always as Sant Kabir says in the song, then how come the God in me does not stop me from making mistakes, doing bad things and curb the evil in me? Maybe, you want me and my like to end up in hell.

Gangu, I am within you and within all. There is good and evil within you. Both keep fighting and one wins over the other. It is a continuous battle and if good wins once, evil fights back in the next and the cycle is endless. There is no one completely good as there is no one completely evil. There is an equal measure of both in all. I never decide who will win. I sit back inside all and see the fun. And who will go where in afterlife is the biggest uncertainty and I have no control over it. It is you who acts and chooses a path.

Ok, so you enjoy the fun as we mortals suffer…that’s not funny. Now tell me, if you were living within me, then how come you did not stop me from stealing money from my father’s wallet and sister’s piggy bank? Where were you when I was doing these bad deeds?

I was within you, Gangu, even then. Yes, what you did was not right but do you remember how you returned a wad of cash from inside the plastic carry bag with the muffin packet which the bakery fellow handed over to you by mistake. There was more money in there than you ever stole from your people at home, so your score card stands squared on that point.

But what about those small chits I made in school and college to pass the examinations. How many times I had to forge my father’s signature on diary and report cards. If you were there within me, you should have made me study hard and give the exams fairly. How sad my father would have been had he known what his son was up to. So how do you explain this evil act which should again put me at the gateway to hell?

Ha Ha… you are a funny man Gangu. The chits you made not just helped you pass the exams unfairly, as you put it, but when you shared the same with your other friends, you saved them the ignominy of failure as well. Think how many of your friends will be blessing you today. Yes, I too feel forging signatures was not something good and your father would have surely felt sad had he known about it then. But now when he looks down today, he must be smiling at you for, despite all your financial troubles, you ensured your son got the best of education and he is a scientist at ISRO today. You also have been paying for the education of your housemaid’s daughter. So you have squared off your past with the good you have done in this life.

Dear God, you are good liar as you make me feel good with your sugar coated explanations. Anyway, as long as you keep filling my glass from the empty bottle, I am very happy. But now I will ask you a difficult one.  I did not treat my mother well in later years. There cannot be any way this evil in my life can be squared off. So my path to hell is certain and the red carpet, if there is one, awaits me.

Yes Gangu, I will not find any solace for you on this point. You should have surely taken better care of her for she was dependent on you. What is done cannot be undone. But when go over your life, I can see that you rushed to so many sick people’s assistance whenever they needed blood. You took such good care of your aunt who lived with you…maybe you felt that what you were doing for her was something you were doing for your mother as repentance. I will not say that, on this point, you are squared and absolved but it isn’t as bad as you think it is.

I will get one more negative score for running this bar where men come, throw money on the women singing and dancing here, get drunk and then go home to create ruckus and pain there. So I am responsible for their misery.

Everyone is responsible for their own deeds. What men do with their money and family is completely accounted for in their books of life. However, if I were to go by your logic, your bar gives employment to so many women and people working here. For them, you are me. You also give these people yearly bonus, allow them holidays when they need them and give them two meals every day. So you and your bar have raised the bar of humanity.

Ok Bhagwaan ji, please tell me, are there separate lanes for rich and the poor up there? I was asking as, in many places of worship, the rich get to meet you quicker and easier. Even the prasad ka laddoo is special for them.

No. Up there, we have just one lane. There is no differentiation. Everything a man does in this life is settled here. If you do good, you get back good in equal measure and the evil you do is also paid back in this life. The response may not be immediate but, certainly, all accounts are settled here. What you take up there is simply nothing. You leave behind everything, not just your family and friends but all your good and not so good deeds. Up there is just one place….you call it H when you are happy and you call it H when not so happy.  So do what you can as long as the H beats inside you, where I reside….your heart. 

You mean the AB & Co will stand with Gangu, Mangu and other folks side by side….in case you have not got what I meant by AB & Co, it is Adani Ambani Bezos Buffet Bill and their like….

You are a funny man Gangu…it is truly a Socialist Democratic Republic up there. I will take your leave now…Bye Gangu.

Bye Bye God ji.

The visitor walked out and the door closed once again. He looked up at the shop board with its flickering red and blue lights….Moko TP Bar…. smiled and walked away.

Inside, Gangu again felt the glass in hand weighed less. He looked up at the noisy old ceiling fan rotating slowing, closed his eyes when the radio began to play….

Moko kahan dhoondhere bande, main toh tere pass hoon

Na teerath mein, na moorat mein, na ekant niwas mein

Na mandir mein, na masjid mein, na Kabe Kailas mein

Main toh tere paas mein bande, main toh tere pass mein.

SS