The English Umbrella

Two tourists in their late fifties were walking towards the British Museum when they saw before them a huge building with ‘Umbrellas’ written vertically in bold, in red. The lady got very excited and said that the Mummies of Egypt, the Amravati Stupa and the Roman Emperor Septimius Severus can all wait for she must visit this shop before all.

The man just could not fathom the priorities when it came to women but did not have the heart to deny the woman a chance to visit what looked like the most imposing shop for sticks and umbrellas that you will ever find anywhere on the face of the earth. Incidentally, the shop also looked like a piece of history with its structure, the inside layout and the people working there… all looked from the times of Charles Dickens and the like.

James Smith and Sons (Umbrellas) was founded in 1830 by, as the name suggests, Mr. James Smith off the Reagent Street. The umbrellas were made in a workshop at the back of the shop and then sold to customers in the front. In 1851, Samuel Fox invented the lightweight steel frame which James Smith II used for his umbrellas whose popularity grew far and wide. The shop at New Oxford Street is a perfect example of a Victorian shop and is a landmark of Central London and referred to as ‘The Umbrella Shop’ by the black cab drivers and locals.

Sticks by James Smith

The lady, despite having already walked over fifteen thousand steps since morning, found a new spring in her gait as she moved inside the shop with the obedient hubby in tow. She went first to the section where the big umbrellas were kept and soon realised how expensive the same were. The man walked towards the section where the walking sticks were kept. These were sticks  had intricate craftsmanship done on the top which ranged from simple rounded heads to the heads of Mozart and Sherlock Holmes. Then there were the prized ones with metals and silverware both at the head and the bottom, each was a piece of art. The man was reminded of his friend from college days in India who is now a senior official in the government police force. At work he used sticks to good use against those on the wrong side of the law but in his leisure hours he would carve out decorative heads on walking sticks, many of which adorned his living room.

Sticks by Sanjay Prakash

By now the lady had moved into the area which had the smaller folding umbrellas. For once the man moved towards her and took the courage to ask…Why do we need another umbrella? We have enough at home.

She turned around and calmly said for once…The ones that are big are also old. The smaller ones are all ladies’ umbrellas with flowery motifs. I want to buy an umbrella for you, one that you can keep in your office bag. This is the best place for umbrellas and I want to select one for you. Last time when you came to London in 2005, you had got me an umbrella which still works perfectly and turns peoples’ heads whenever I take it out. So, don’t say no, please.

The man looked back in time when he had last visited London almost two decades ago and he had bought an umbrella which was very unique in many ways. The cover on top was made of tough transparent material and when the umbrella opened, it took a perfect U-shape under which only one person could stand. There was no possibility of asking anyone else to share it with you. The brown frame, handle and black-brown-mustard lines went all around it. It was a special and, possibly, an expensive gift he had bought then for his wife. And today, she wanted to reciprocate so all he could do was smile and join her in the search in a room full of umbrellas of different sizes, shapes, colours and designs.

The couple were aided by an old English gentleman who would tell them about each of the umbrellas they picked and opened. The moment the visitors opened the next umbrella, the Pucca Englishman would immediately fold the earlier ones with every crease neatly in place and put them back on the shelf not waiting for the sale to conclude. This put pressure on the two buyers who now started admiring and shortlisting the umbrellas without opening all of them.

The lady must have seen over fifty different umbrellas and opened about twenty of them but still could not decide which one to buy. The man was not being helpful at all in the selection process and was finding one excuse after another just to deter the lady from buying one. But then he knew her for over three decades and had to, at all times, concede that man is smart but the woman is smarter and much more determined than all his excuses. She finally zeroed in on two smart looking umbrellas with plaid prints that a man could carry with pride. While the man was doing the final eeni meeni minie mo…the English salesman in full tie and suit handed them an umbrella… You should consider buying this one here. This one is far better than the ones you have shortlisted. This has ten spokes in the frame instead of the usual eight and has a nice curved wooden handle.

The man thought, this was most reminiscent of Ollivander helping young Harry Potter find his perfect wand. The tourists, like Harry, took the umbrella in their hands, opened it up and, truly, it was a better choice than what they had selected. Once again, the words of Ollivander rung in in the man’s ears, loud and clear, “Curious indeed how these things happen. The wand chooses the wizard, remember…”

Even though the piece was exceeding their budget but then in matters of heart a ten pound here and there never did matter. The decision was made and the sale done. Before leaving the store the gentleman salesman in the store asked if they would like him to put the prized buy in a carry bag and then went on to bring out a slim, yellow plastic bag with little tiny brown umbrellas printed all over. The moment the two oldies saw the packet, the lady shouted in exuberance … This was the same packet in which you had brought the umbrella for me. I had kept the umbrella in the same plastic packet for many years and it was only recently that I threw it away as it had started to tear.

Yes…yes… you are right. Does this mean, I had also bought your umbrella from this very store?

Surely Sir, you would have bought the umbrella from this shop only for we have no branches anywhere. This packet of ours has remained unchanged in style and look for over fifty years now.

What a coincidence for who knew history would repeat itself in life as well!

When I was buying this umbrella for you, I was unaware that Mumbai was facing the biggest deluge in its history on 26^th day of July, 2005 and you were stuck in the fury the whole night. Thank you for buying this one for me today and when it rains next at Mumbai, we shall both walk down the streets flaunting our umbrellas from James Smith & Sons singing like Raj Kapoor and Nargis…pyaar hua, ikraar hua…

The Rosetta Stone at the British Museum

The Rosetta Stone is the Egyptian stone bearing inscriptions in three languages and scripts- hieroglyphs, Demotic and Greek- whose decipherment led to the understanding of the hieroglyphic writing. The yellow umbrella packet with its umbrella motifs turned out to be like the Rosetta Stone for the tourists as they now walked hand-in-hand into the famed British Museum to see the original stone and the other priceless treasures on display.

SS